
Originally Posted by
skye040181
Since when has stability meant that 2 parents need a ring on there finger, my boyfriend & i already have 1 child 2gether & we give her just as much love as any other parent with a RING on there finger. And if the DRS gave their patients info about the Depo needle to start with there wouldnt be so many people having problems concieving after the Depo needle, so how bout u F@%K right of & write answers that are actually helpful to others & not HURTFULL.
Well, if you don't need the ring on your finger---how about the legal ability to deal with an emergency if your boyfriend is incapacitated? Will your child be able to collect social security on his behalf if he's (god forbid) killed in an accident? Will either you or his child be able to go to the hospital to see him if he's in ICU?
Do you get along GREAT with his parents? Because if you don't, they can fight you for custody of their grandchild (and in some states WIN partial custody or visitation, over your preference or that of your boyfriend) if something happens to their son. Is everything in BOTH of your names? I hope so, otherwise legally, you could lose everything in HIS name if his family decided to fight for it, if (god forbid) something should happen to him.
Do both of you have wills set up, detailing what is to go to each other and to your child/children? If not, you could lose it ALL of something happened to the other person, either due to debt, or the fact that next of kin inherits, or that his (or your!) parents could fight to be the person who holds all the trust money for your children.
Legally, if something happens to one of you, the other has NO standing, and cannot fight to have insurance cover something, or fight on behalf of the other if there is an extended illness. You can't even access each other's financial records to fix any later problems if you need to!
So tell me again how stable your relationship is when all it would take is ONE accident to leave either of you with little to no options because you're not LEGALLY related to each other.
The other side of doctors giving their patients information about it is that how much information did you ASK about? Did you go in and say "I need birth control, can you help me determine which is the best kind for me?" Or did you go in and state your stipulations for birth control, say you didn't want to get pregnant, and tell your doctor you wanted Depo without asking any of the questions about medication that you should--what are the side effects? Will I have problems conceiving later? Are there any known problems that I should watch out for?
*I* knew, because I asked my doctor, that it would take some time to get pregnant after going off Depo--up to 18 months, if there were no other problems. I also know that you are not considered to be having problems with fertility until you've been unable to conceive for at least a year.
I also know that if you can't take the answers, you shouldn't ask the question. The language you use is pretty immature--hope you don't use it around your kid! And come on--can't you be more creative than that if you're going to be angry with me for asking why people can't commit to each other permanently with at least a civil service. I mean, really--if you can't make THAT commitment, why the heck are you having kids with someone anyway? Are you still afraid you'll break up?
I was asking an honest question--because I don't understand why someone would want to have a lifelong commitment WITH someone (a child), but won't make a lifelong commitment TO each other (marriage).