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New Member
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Dec 8, 2008, 05:48 PM
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So what if I'm young.
OK. I'm 18 years old, and my fiancée is 19. We've been dating a while now and we plan on getting married December 31. Neither of our parents agree with us and tell us that we are too young and do not know what we're getting ourselves into and blah blah freakin blah. I've heard if from every one. But they don't see how we feel about each other. And I know that marriage isn't a piece of cake. Something you just learn how to do. It's something you will work on the rest of your life. And I know there will be problems. So my question is, should I still get married even though our parents don't agree?:confused:
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New Member
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Dec 8, 2008, 06:07 PM
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Most parents won't agree with our kids getting married at such a young age. However, if you two love each other and know that it will work I say do it and prove to everyone that you can make it. Just don't get married to prove something, get married cause it feels right, because if it is right then it will last and it will, but get married for the wrong reasons and it will fail. Meaning, have you ever done something that your parents told you not to do, for an example, have you not listened to your parents and did what you wanted to do anyway? Then turn around and stub your toe or got hurt. Well kind of the same thing, parents are telling you not to get married, just don't get your toe stubbed.
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Ultra Member
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Dec 8, 2008, 06:40 PM
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Not necessarily. But you should listen to what they have to say. They are older and wiser. Just take their opinions with a grain of salt.
There is a big chance of marrying young and getting divorced.
But we always take chances because we follow our hearts. That is what it is all about: learning from our mistakes.
Read my signature below. It is very true!
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Full Member
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Dec 8, 2008, 08:17 PM
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I don't know why you're asking, if you're not going to listen to your parents and their "blah blah blah" then why do you care what we think?
Seems like a mature couple ready for marriage should be able to take older and wiser advice in stride.
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Ultra Member
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Dec 8, 2008, 08:41 PM
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Why don't you live together for a while.. see if you can handle all the reponsibility that comes along with getting and staying married. Then if you can prove to yourselves that you can handle it then get married. Please practice birth control till you are financially stable as well as your relationship
Bst wishes,
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Expert
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Dec 8, 2008, 09:03 PM
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What's the hurry any way?? How about a job, or some education to get a good job? Or do you expect him to support both of you like your parents are doing now. Come on, you do have a plan don't you?
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Ultra Member
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Dec 8, 2008, 09:13 PM
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I was married young, thought I knew it all, wedding was a $40 marriage license...
Now I am into the $30,000.00 divorce five years later... I think people have a right to ask you to wait.
I was married at 23 and we had dated for 5 years before the marriage. Things don't always work out the way we plan.
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Uber Member
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Dec 9, 2008, 06:19 AM
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Ask them for specifics that they think might be a problem and figure out how you would go about any possible problems.
Think through the problems you feel there might be and then follow your heart. No matter what you want to do there will always be people talking negative with what do you want to do that for? You won't make it... etc...
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Junior Member
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Mar 13, 2009, 11:55 AM
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Try living together before marriage to see if you can handle things. I thought I was ready for marriage too and we were pregnant and ready to spend our lives together. Soo... we moved in together first because financially we couldn't get married yet and things changed. You have bills and more responsibilities than you know of right now. We are still not married because once we moved in together we fight over the simple things in life. We are still together and plan on getting married when we think the time is right. Don't jump into marriage as soon as you can I'm the same age as you are so I know how you feel but after a year of experience in the same house as my fiancé things are harder than you think. Live together first, if you can get through that then think about marriage. Hope this was helpful.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 13, 2009, 12:01 PM
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Do you both have jobs lined up?
Do you have a way to pay the rent every month?
Do you have enough in your savings account to pay your monthly rent/bills/food for a month if you have an emergency?
Do you have a place to live?
Do you have plans for the possibility of starting a family right away?
Do you have transportation?
Are you both finished with school? Or, will you be fininshed at the time of your marriage?
These are all questions that you need to answer before you consider marrying. Finances are one of the hardest parts of newly-wed-ism.
Yes, you're young. But, I know that this can work. It is all dependent upon if you're ready - financially AND emotionally.
Having the support of your parents always helps... no matter how old you are. If all of these things are ready and you are financially ready to take on marriage, sit down with them and show your parents that you are being responsible. That will help a lot.
If not, then no. You're not ready for marriage.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 13, 2009, 12:06 PM
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This is a revived thread, the marriage was already planned, it was set to happen at the end of last year.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 13, 2009, 12:09 PM
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 Originally Posted by Justwantfair
This is a revived thread, the marriage was already planned, it was set to happen at the end of last year.
Rah... oops. Sorry, guys.
Wonder what happened?
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Ultra Member
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Mar 13, 2009, 12:15 PM
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Maybe now we will get an update. :D
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New Member
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Apr 2, 2009, 05:48 PM
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I am 18, my husband is 21 and we were told that we were too young to get married. I worried about it a little, but in the end I did what felt right. We were together less than a year before marriage. Time makes no difference, and living together really doesn't either. Marriage is different from living together. We lived together and it still was a huge transition! Finances are a HUGE part peace in a marriage. The first three months of our marriage almost ended us in a divorce simply because of the stress making us short tempered and we lost it with one another. Money can be a big parasite in marriage if you let it- and it's hard not to. You also have to realize that you and he both are going to grow up more and more. There is a chance in growing apart. So you will have to take special time and consideration to keep learning each other and talking about what the future holds. If you grow together, nothing can ever come between you. My hubby and I have been together for 5 months now and though it doesn't seem like that long ago when divorce was being tossed around we have come oceans across closer together. That's another thing, make it part of your vows to NEVER say the word divorce or I'm leaving. It's like a poison that gets into your marriage and even after you fix it, the words never go away they just lay dormant until some other time.
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Senior Member
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Apr 5, 2009, 09:02 AM
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 Originally Posted by Justwantfair
This is a revived thread, the marriage was already planned, it was set to happen at the end of last year.
Gah!! I hate when people dig up old threads!
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