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    somegirlsdo's Avatar
    somegirlsdo Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 8, 2008, 10:21 AM
    How do I accept my own sexuality?
    Forgive me for the longwindedness of this question and for the way it may jump here and there!

    I know that I am bisexual but for some reason can not accpet this about myself.

    I know that I am attracted to women and that they sexually arouse me but I can not accept this about myself either.

    I know that I like watching porn and especially the women in it but for reason I can not accept this about myself and while I have admitted thi to my boyfriend I can't seem to enjoy this with him. I can watch it with him but I just don't enjoy it... I think I feel inadequate. But love to watch it alone.

    I have had threesomes with other couples (before my boyfriend and I decided to become a couple) but for some reason I don't feel comfortable to have one with him. I know that my having sex with another man or woman doesn't change how I feel about him but I think it will change the way he feels about me. He doesn't understand how I can share this part of myself with others but not with him. I have to admit neither do I!

    I am having a problem because I entered into this relationship know that my boyfriend wanted to have group sex and now I don't know if I can although I do like being with women and have done this before.

    I am feeling so confused and conflicted.

    How do I accept my sexuality?
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #2

    Dec 8, 2008, 11:39 AM

    Have you tried talking to a counselor about this at all?
    somegirlsdo's Avatar
    somegirlsdo Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 8, 2008, 11:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ZoeMarie View Post
    have you tried talking to a counselor about this at all?

    Not really. I lied to my psychologist about being attracted to women for 7 years and just recently told her that I was lying. I don't have another appointment until next week.

    This seems to be a two parter because... my boyfriend and I are moving to another country together in a month.. but our getting together was to include group sex and now I don't know if I will be able to follow through... my fears have me wanting to end this relationship for fear I can not give him what he needs but there is no choice now... the move must go forward (for reasons like work, and selling houses and such)
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #4

    Dec 8, 2008, 11:47 AM

    I actually read that post too, but didn't know what to say. If you're not comfortable in your relationship there's no reason to stay in it. I just didn't know what you meant by "the contracts are signed."
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #5

    Dec 9, 2008, 02:22 PM

    You can't rush accepting yourself. I think that it can be helpful to be alone to fully understand and accept yourself. You need to be free to do as you like and not hurt anyone by doing it. I am bisexual and just want to say that I know how hard accepting yourself can be. It's not easy but it's well worth it when you know who you are and what you want.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Dec 9, 2008, 04:02 PM

    You have to be aware of who you are and admit it to yourself.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #7

    Dec 10, 2008, 10:20 PM

    I think you're like me in a way. I am slightly bi-sexual. The idea of seeing your boyfriend with another person would crush you though and you want it to be exclusive right? I think you truly care for him and yes you are slightly attracted to women. I think you feel guilty about looking at women sexually because you feel like you're cheating on him. I think you are just uneasy because you just feel like it's cheating and you're a good moral person. And you probably need to go to some form of consular just to talk about your feelings. Don't worry, you're normal

    Also talk to him. Tell him you don't want to because you feel like it be cheating on him. And yes when you weren't in a committed relationship you did have group sex but you were single. And if he doesn't understand then he just may not be the one.
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