[whatami]

Hello there, sorry I really don’t know where to begin but ill try to explain my situation as best as I can. Well basically life is crap….why?; well because I feel suppressed and criticized upon. Sighh.. ahh…how do I explain this, my friends and family unknowingly or knowingly for lack of a better term annoy and upset me. This has been going on ever since I was very little, I didn’t have much friends and I was always alone in class and outside of school. I never had proper companions until my early teens. Back in the day I use to always be alone and I never had anybody to talk to. Played alone in the playground did things by myself while the other kids went on about their business. Everybody was very nasty to me, quite hurtful as well. I actually never really had any problem whatsoever with this but I always had this feeling hanging over my head. To this day I do still have it. Its kind of like this feeling where your are always judged and monitored on everything that you do, its hard to explain its more than that, its just this really frustrating feeling that eats you away, and if somebody says something it just so over whelming at times….
(to set the record straight I obviously do not mind opinions and criticism, this is something else).

People think I'm an idiot…well I probably am, lol, and they seem to use me as a toy and throw all kinds of crap at me from comments, criticism and on occasion physical violence (not major), well not violence just over doing the pushing and shoving knowing that I wouldn’t do anything and saying fuked up things that they know shouldn’t be told while knowing that I can't either come up with something as clever enough or something to answer with. I mean I'm a nice guy, but why the does everyone like to walk all over me. Im wondering whether there’s big label on my forehead saying come and skrew me.

I don’t like socialising that much and I hate when people for no reason get angry at me. I don’t know why but I feel edgy when talking to people, I feel tense inside.

I can't seem to live and enjoy life.. its just there, and I see everyone moving on without me.. I don’t know where I'm going to end up and I just want respect from people…

Why am I like this? Is there something wrong with me? why do people say and do such things? How can I get better? Am In the wrong? Am I doing something wrong?
Why is this so hard? Why can't I get a job like everyone else why am I the odd one out of the group why do they pick on me.. (or at least feel as if I'm a target.. im so confused.. )


I know this sounds utterly sissy and pretty much makes no sense at all….but could someone if you understand help me?

-thank you, I’m 17 by the way.

[tillykilly]

Hello I feel that perhaps you are letting others see how much you get hurt and how their comments and actions upset you try a different approach like laughing and smiling at them subtly conveying in the best way that you can how it is all going over your head.. fix yoourself upon building up your own confidence and even when you feel like crap fake it...
The more you react outwardly to the this stuff the more others will use this against you, and your torment and confusion will continue.. get some attitude, but politely... take care

[whatami]

hello i feel that perhaps you are letting others see how much you get hurt and how their comments and actions upset you try a different approach like laughing and smiling at them subtly conveying in the best way that you can how it is all going over your head ..fix yoourself upon building up your own confidence and even when you feel like crap fake it...
the more you react outwardly to the this stuff the more others will use this against you, and your torment and confusion will continue..get some attitude, but politely...take care

Hello there, yes I do dismiss everything and have a good laugh about it, but it tends to become a habit amongst others and it continues so it never really stops. And this is not entirely the issue, its just that I'm having difficulty "functioning"... if you get what I mean.

@mouhamed87
Thanks for the link, I have read the book before (well half of it anyway).

-thanks for all your replies...

(And sorry for the swearing I was meaning to edit that before I pasted here. Now I can't seem to edit it.)