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Mommie2 · Dec 6, 2008, 02:22 PM

I am a proud mommy of two adorable kids. Their biological father and I split a year and a half ago. He did not see the kids for 8 months, and then one day decided that he wanted to be in their lives again. He came over 3 times, and now its been over a month since he has seen them again. Is there a certain period that I should wait to ask him to sign off on his parental rights? Both of my kids are under 3, so they have no idea who he is. I have been dating a guy who loves my kids. He is the only dad that they know. Can anyone help? :confused:

J_9 · Dec 6, 2008, 02:29 PM

If it were so easy to sign off paternal rights, there would be a mile long line at the courthouse.

You see, it's not that easy, and is only done in cases of abuse or to clear the children for adoption.

N0help4u · Dec 6, 2008, 02:31 PM

You can't have him sign off his rights.
If he is only seeing them sparatically you need to tell him that it is not emotionally healthy for them to have him not have some consistency so you would rather he just stop bothering.
I did that with my ex.
The only way you can have him sign off his rights is to get married and have them adopt but that still takes the biological dads okay.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 6, 2008, 03:02 PM

No, you need to get a written custody order and a written child support order in place. So he can only visit on specific days and times and over night visits are not allowed till children are certain ages and so on.

You can't have him just "sign over his rights"

ScottGem · Dec 6, 2008, 03:17 PM

I moved this to the Family Law forum where it belongs. You will find hundreds of threads here dealing with this issue.

JudyKayTee · Dec 6, 2008, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Mommie2

I am a proud mommy of two adorable kids. Their biological father and I split a year and a half ago. He did not see the kids for 8 months, and then one day decided that he wanted to be in their lives again. He came over 3 times, and now its been over a month since he has seen them again. Is there a certain period of time that I should wait to ask him to sign off on his parental rights? Both of my kids are under 3, so they have no idea who he is. I have been dating a guy who loves my kids. He is the only dad that they know. Can anyone help? :confused:

No, you can't force him to "sign off" on his children. Is he paying support? Is that by Court Order and is there an Order concerning visitation/custody?

In most States - and there are exceptions - you CAN ask him to relinquish his rights so your husband can adopt the children after you have been married one year. He does not have to consent.

You can always deny him visitation if there is no order but if he decides to go and get an order he may get more visitation than you would like him to have, enforceable because it's a Court Order.

stinawords · Dec 7, 2008, 09:23 AM

As numerous people have said you can't have his rights terminated. It simply does not happen like that but don't worry you aren't the only one that has had that misconception that is why there are thousands of other threads with people asking the same question and getting the same answer. If you don't have a support order you need to go to court to get one. At that time you can also ask that he get visitation by order or you can deny the visitation. However, keep in mind what Judy said all he has to do is go to court and the judge will probably award him with more visitation than you would have liked but you won't have any choice but to abide by it. Well, I take that back you will have the choice not to abide by it and be in contempt of court and deal with the consequences that come along with that.