[Redneckgrl]

My ex-boyfriend has a very trashy house and lives with 2 other guys, Has 2 dogs and one is a Jack Russell, that jumps and bites you in the face. Well I'm 28 weeks pregnant and I no that he's no a very good person, He only care's about himself and doesn't care that I pregnant, but still wants his kid, so he can take the child from me.. Well my question is that if is house is so nasty with dog poop and pee, trash , etc. Is that a good environment for a baby? Common since tells me no!! But theirs the LAW thing also...

[Justwantfair]

DCFS will not allow children to live in environments where urine, feces, or rodents are involved.

He is allowed to be a slob, but if there are any of the aforementioned things listed than I would give them a call start documenting the environment so that you can protect the welfare of your child.

[Redneckgrl]

Thank you, So Some how I got to get pics of his place and show them in court or do you think I can call those people and they can drop a visit without him knowing? He's an over road truck driver, and he lives with his dad and best friend!! They never clean up, when we were together I cleaned that apartment, more than they have ever! What about the dog, his Jack Russell, everyone ones that those type of dogs are very hyper active, and love to jump on people, Love to get in you're face. For a infant that's going to have spilt milk on him, that dog is going to bite him or be up in the baby's face!!

[ScottGem]

Again, you need to prove the environment is unsafe. I would suggest that you ask for supervised visitation in a neutral place or at your residence.

[Redneckgrl]

Another question, Do I have to let him see the child if I don't want too? Is their anything stopping me? The Child is better with me and my fiancée, We both are home everyday and have great jobs, the ex is an over road trucker and is never home. My fiancée has been their my whole pregnancy, So I just don't want my son to have a mest up child hood and bouncing from home to home! Besides when my ex is home all he does is eat and play video games, he weighs over 300 pounds. If my son was to go over their when he gets older and gets fat then that's child abuse right their...

[Justwantfair]

If you think such horrible things about this person, why did you create a child with him and now you hope the child won't have a messed up childhood... You can't undo that this is the child's father and he will have rights, you will need to bring your concerns to a court's attention and they will tell you what responsibilities and privileges this man who fathered your child will have.

[ScottGem]

Another question, Do I have to let him see the child if I don't want too?

That depends on the courts. If you have primary physical custody then you don't have to give him visitation unless a court orders it. If he wants visitation, he will have to go to court to get it. At that point you can present your proof that the environment, if not him, is unfit.

I will echo what Justwantfair said. He apparently was not so bad that you would have sex with him. A court will take that into account.

[JudyKayTee]

If you think such horrible things about this person, why did you create a child with him and now you hope the child won't have a messed up childhood... You can't undo that this is the child's father and he will have rights, you will need to bring your concerns to a court's attention and they will tell you what responsibilities and priviledges this man who fathered your child will have.

You beat me to the punch!

The father has rights unless and until you can prove he's unfit. The fact that the house is a pigsty now doesn't mean it will be a pigsty in the future.

So when the child is born DNA will be done to prove paternity, you will attempt to prove that the father is unstable and/or unfit. The father will attempt to prove that you are unstable and/or unfit. The Court will decide and award custody and visitation and support.

It is sad to see post after post after post where people are busy calling the other parent names when apparently fairly recently that same "unfit" person was fit to have sex with. The ex-girlfriend is always crazy; the ex-boyfriend is always an alcoholic and/or druggie.

Amazing and terribly sad.

[asking]

If the op marries her fiancée now, won't he be the presumed father when the baby is born?

[JudyKayTee]

If the op marries her fiancee now, won't he be the presumed father when the baby is born?

I see the problem with that as the father wants visitation with the child. I don't see him going away and I see a nasty proceeding if he finds out someone else is on the birth certificate to say nothing about what I would consider to be a fundamental lie and effort to cut the natural father out of the picture.

Then if the marriage breaks up the husband doesn't want to pay child support because it isn't really his child and OP is back with another thread about paternity.

I never advise going the quick fix route when it's a legal problem.

I "suppose" this could work but I think it's dangerous and, depending on the intent, deceitful.

No matter who/what the father is, he has rights to and with this child until the Court takes them away.

[N0help4u]

To sum it up go to court and file for full custody.
Then he can object and file for full or joint custody.
You then raise your concerns and ask for children's services to investigate his living conditions and request that he be given only supervised visits (at a different location than his place if possible)
As long as you have a decent place to raise your baby then you shouldn't have much to worry about.
Then it is up to the court to decide and give a child custody/visitation order that you have to follow.

[cdad]

What exactly is the situation. Is there a child already and another on the way or is the one your carrying " his " your ex's child ?

Is this 1 baby or 2 ?