[unconlov]

My 29yo daughter died one and one half yrs ago. She was married w/ three young boys. The oldest, now thirteen, was from a previous relationship. She never pursued child support and preferred to handle visitation and support personally. The bio father has maintained a comfortable if distant relationship w/ his son.
Since my daughter's death, my son in law has been under great strain so my husband and I help him on a daily basis. Recently, his parents have become more involved and he has naturally gravitated to them. The upsetting thing is that I am seeing more and more lack of kindness and understanding toward the thirteen year old. He has many issues-some that naturally occur w/ adolescence, some not. My son in law has called him an idiot, pinned him by the chest on the stairs, and hit him w/ a metal spatula leaving a mark on his flank.
I have spoken to my son in law w/ as much compassion as I am able to muster w/ each incident. Each time, he admits it was not appropriate punishment. I have urged counselling for the whole family but especially my oldest grandson. I have fears that this could and will escalate. My son in law is highly resistant to any counselling.
He has never legally adopted this child. Do I have any rights to intervene on this child's behalf?
Thank you

[JudyKayTee]

My 29yo daughter died one and one half yrs ago. She was married w/ three young boys. The oldest, now thirteen, was from a previous relationship. She never pursued child support and preferred to handle visitation and support personally. The bio father has maintained a comfortable if distant relationship w/ his son.
Since my daughter's death, my son in law has been under great strain so my husband and I help him on a daily basis. Recently, his parents have become more involved and he has naturally gravitated to them. The upsetting thing is that I am seeing more and more lack of kindness and understanding toward the thirteen year old. He has many issues-some that naturally occur w/ adolescence, some not. My son in law has called him an idiot, pinned him by the chest on the stairs, and hit him w/ a metal spatula leaving a mark on his flank.
I have spoken to my son in law w/ as much compassion as I am able to muster w/ each incident. Each time, he admits it was not appropriate punishment. I have urged counselling for the whole family but especially my oldest grandson. I have fears that this could and will escalate. My son in law is highly resistant to any counselling.
He has never legally adopted this child. Do I have any rights to intervene on this child's behalf?
Thank you

Anyone has a right to intervene on behalf of a child who is being abused - in fact, I think you have an obligation to do so. You can call CPS in your area. You can ask your son in law if you could have guardianship.

Once the son in law admitted it was inappropriate but then it happened again, well, things aren't going to change.

But before someone - probably the boy - gets hurt, I think you have to make your move. And I realize that it will make relations between the families very, very difficult, if not hostile, but somebody has to speak for this boy in the place of his mother who cannot.

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
unconlov agrees: Well stated. Thank youQUOTE]



I hope you come back and let us know how things are going, how this works out for you.