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My EX is getting married. And it's bothering me!
I found out today my EX of less than 2 years ago, got engaged last night... and it's really bothering me! And I know it shouldn't be. Is this normal? I'm not sure why... it's not because I still have feelings... or because I want to get married (I do, but not anytime soon).
We were together for over 3 years and everyone thought we were the golden couple that would be together forever... but we lost that chemistry somewhere along the way and became more like friends towards the end. It was a mutual break up, although I maybe instigated it, because one of us had to. He felt the same though and there was never any nastiness or anything... We vowed to stay friends, but I started seeing someone soon after (as did he... the girl he's now marrying) and naturally we drifted apart. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy in my current relationship... we've had our share of ups and downs, but I'm content. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and whether it's normal? - Confused! :confused: |
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I think it may bother me for a bit, but if I am in a happy and healthy relationship, then I would focus my attention to that. Life isn't a competition with your ex, so just because he is getting married doesn't mean you failed along the way. You spent and invested a lot of emotions and time with him, so I would think it to be natural to have some type of emotion in this. Let it pass very QUICKLY and get back to work on yourself and your current boyfriend. |
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Most people feel that way when an ex does get engaged because it brings back that feeling of "it should have been me" stuff. It will pass and you will realize that you are far better off now than you were back then. |
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Give it time and don't dwell on it too much as I think we all feel the same pangs, when exes move on, and get married. You're a normal human. |
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It is extremely normal. It is motivated by feelings of "what if", and the fact that he "beat you to it". |
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Thanks everyone for your answers and comments. It's very reassuring. Onwards and upwards! :) S x |
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Hi Sezstar,
I am going through a similar situation. I just found out on Facebook that my ex-boyfriend (we broke up 1/07) is expecting his 1st child and getting married soon. We were together for 3 years and certainly had our ups and downs. I don't want him back, but it angers me to know that the 2 things I really wanted from him (marriage and children), he is experiencing with someone else. Keep your head up. |
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I think that those emotions you are experiencing is perfectly normal! I lived with a guy for 5 years and we split up at the beginning of June 2007, at the bginning of may 2008 he got married. And I knew I didn't want to be with him, I was the one who ended our relationship, but I was a bit shocked when he got married like 5 days before what would have been our 6th... LOL it passed quickly though. And I think you'll get over it, but like tal said: you're a normal human being! :) |
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it's a normal emotion ;) hell even when my x girlfriends get boyfriends I get angry. because I think. You dare to leave me for them? THEM! so yeah its perfectly OK to feel like that. We can't control how we feel. but don't let this effect your life. You know all this though. it is a kick in the face when you think you will be with someone forever and it just does not work out. be strong :) |
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It's normal because deep deep in you, you realize that you didn't offer enough to him, probably not even good sex, so you became "friends"...
It's normal because he is getting married, he is hopefully going to have children, oh and yes, he can have children now or in the future, anytime, and you realize that it is not the same with you, deep deep in you you realize that you were never equal... but different... by nature... You realize that you have insecurities... Be in a harry, find a jerk to marry you! But how? You still have feelings about him although you don't admit it! And if you don't have... you are addicted to your insecurities... Go and find a psychotherapist! A good one! |
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