Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sezstar's Avatar
    sezstar Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 3, 2008, 03:58 AM
    My EX is getting married. And it's bothering me!
    I found out today my EX of less than 2 years ago, got engaged last night... and it's really bothering me! And I know it shouldn't be. Is this normal? I'm not sure why... it's not because I still have feelings... or because I want to get married (I do, but not anytime soon).

    We were together for over 3 years and everyone thought we were the golden couple that would be together forever... but we lost that chemistry somewhere along the way and became more like friends towards the end. It was a mutual break up, although I maybe instigated it, because one of us had to. He felt the same though and there was never any nastiness or anything... We vowed to stay friends, but I started seeing someone soon after (as did he... the girl he's now marrying) and naturally we drifted apart.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm happy in my current relationship... we've had our share of ups and downs, but I'm content.

    Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and whether it's normal?

    - Confused! :confused:
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Dec 3, 2008, 06:58 AM

    I think it may bother me for a bit, but if I am in a happy and healthy relationship, then I would focus my attention to that. Life isn't a competition with your ex, so just because he is getting married doesn't mean you failed along the way. You spent and invested a lot of emotions and time with him, so I would think it to be natural to have some type of emotion in this. Let it pass very QUICKLY and get back to work on yourself and your current boyfriend.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Dec 3, 2008, 07:04 AM

    Most people feel that way when an ex does get engaged because it brings back that feeling of "it should have been me" stuff. It will pass and you will realize that you are far better off now than you were back then.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 3, 2008, 07:35 AM

    Give it time and don't dwell on it too much as I think we all feel the same pangs, when exes move on, and get married.

    You're a normal human.
    wolfgangqpublic's Avatar
    wolfgangqpublic Posts: 189, Reputation: 29
    -
     
    #5

    Dec 3, 2008, 11:49 AM

    It is extremely normal. It is motivated by feelings of "what if", and the fact that he "beat you to it".
    sezstar's Avatar
    sezstar Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Dec 14, 2008, 09:17 PM

    Thanks everyone for your answers and comments. It's very reassuring. Onwards and upwards! :)

    S x
    dina15's Avatar
    dina15 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Dec 19, 2008, 10:16 AM
    Hi Sezstar,

    I am going through a similar situation. I just found out on Facebook that my ex-boyfriend (we broke up 1/07) is expecting his 1st child and getting married soon. We were together for 3 years and certainly had our ups and downs. I don't want him back, but it angers me to know that the 2 things I really wanted from him (marriage and children), he is experiencing with someone else. Keep your head up.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Dec 19, 2008, 10:51 AM

    I think that those emotions you are experiencing is perfectly normal!

    I lived with a guy for 5 years and we split up at the beginning of June 2007, at the bginning of may 2008 he got married. And I knew I didn't want to be with him, I was the one who ended our relationship, but I was a bit shocked when he got married like 5 days before what would have been our 6th...

    LOL it passed quickly though.

    And I think you'll get over it, but like tal said: you're a normal human being! :)
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Dec 19, 2008, 11:12 AM

    it's a normal emotion ;) hell even when my x girlfriends get boyfriends I get angry.

    because I think.

    You dare to leave me for them? THEM!

    so yeah its perfectly OK to feel like that. We can't control how we feel.

    but don't let this effect your life. You know all this though.
    it is a kick in the face when you think you will be with someone forever and it just does not work out.

    be strong :)
    MaryFab's Avatar
    MaryFab Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Feb 10, 2010, 03:00 AM
    It's normal because deep deep in you, you realize that you didn't offer enough to him, probably not even good sex, so you became "friends"...

    It's normal because he is getting married, he is hopefully going to have children, oh and yes, he can have children now or in the future, anytime, and you realize that it is not the same with you, deep deep in you you realize that you were never equal... but different... by nature...

    You realize that you have insecurities...

    Be in a harry, find a jerk to marry you!

    But how? You still have feelings about him although you don't admit it!

    And if you don't have... you are addicted to your insecurities...

    Go and find a psychotherapist! A good one!

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Cat bothering us at 4am! EVERY NIGHT! [ 3 Answers ]

My bedroom door and my mother's bedroom door are right across from each other. We don't let our one year old cat sleep with us because he's quite the curious little guy, he gets into EVERYTHING :P For the last two weeks now he's been coming to our doors at 4am and scratching and meowing for a...

Bothering but has no goals [ 3 Answers ]

I have been in a releationship with a woman for a year and she is bothering me about marriage already. I like a lot of things about her but she has no goal aside from being a model at 26. She also has two kids while I have none. Don't get me wrong, the kid thig does bother me but what really...

Its been bothering me for MONTHS! [ 1 Answers ]

:confused: There's a music video I can't remember the words anymore its kind of new I saw it on MTV and it's a chick singer I think she's british or french or something foreign haha I'm pretty sure that's what MTV said ANYWAY The chicks singing and in the video there's an invisible guy she's...

Not to keep bothering you about this judgement [ 1 Answers ]

Like I said before this guy I have a judgement against only paid me $50.00 and he owe me $1,384.00 because I said I was going to take him bk to court and did not make another payment.should I call him and ask him when he will pay me or should I try to file a lien against his bank acct.or just take...

Bothering spots [ 1 Answers ]

What is the quikest way to get rid of spots


View more questions Search