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annecsmith · Dec 2, 2008, 06:44 PM

I have been married to my military husband for almost 3 years now. Most of our marriage life, we have not seen each other much. We fight a lot when he is at home. It seemed that we don't agree on many things unlike when we are on our first months together. Now, I have decided that I divorce him. I am not happy anymore. I have read from this Military Divorce site that if he is on duty overseas he can waive to accept the divorce papers.

"America's federal politicians don't want their armed services personnel distracted when fighting to defend their country. That's why there is federal legislation which, amongst other things, makes it difficult if not impossible to serve certain legal documents on a member of the military. In fact a serving member on duty overseas is not required to accept divorce papers and can continue to refuse for up to sixty days upon returning to the United States."

If I divorce him, what benefits will I get? We don't have any children. Will the years we are together affect the benefits?

cdad · Dec 2, 2008, 07:29 PM

You won't get any benefits. Unless the court orders them you stand to get nothing other then what you came into it with.

annecsmith · Dec 2, 2008, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

You wont get any benefits. Unless the court orders them you stand to get nothing other then what you came into it with.

What do you think should I do? I plan to go back to school after this will be settled. I won't be able to fully support myself. What about our properties and money in the bank?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 2, 2008, 08:18 PM

He is over seas , so go back to school and get on with what you want to do.

At divorce he will lose his additional money for being married.

so sexy · Sep 13, 2009, 07:02 PM

Yes if you go to school now the military will pay. (I did). Take advantage of the benefits while you can

melmonterey · Sep 15, 2009, 05:18 PM

The military will drop you in a heartbeat, with no benefits. No insurance, no education benefits, etc. Only someone who is married at the time of military retirement is eligible for benefits if they've been married more than 10 years.

So, I'm with "so sexy", take advantage of the education and medical benefits, get any dental stuff done, etc.

Offer to go to counseling with him when he comes home, or even go now, while he's away. It might help. Call the family support group in your unit, they will know who to contact (in the Army, it's Army Community Services)

Each service treats it different, if he's Army though, here is the reg regarding spousal support. http://www.army.mil/usapa/epubs/pdf/r608_99.pdf He is either supposed to have his pay in a joint account, or be sending you about $700-$800 a month, depending on his rank.

melmonterey · Sep 15, 2009, 05:21 PM

And your properties and monies. That is according to state law, not military, so that would be up to a judge. If you acquired it while married, most likely it will be divided in half. If either of you acquired it before the marriage, it's possible that the judge would give it to the original owner/purchaser. But it could go half and half to (one car for you, one car for him).

Also, depending on your state, you could get alimony. It is often for 1/2 the time of your marriage (so 1 and 1/2 years for you). But since you didn't live together for most of your marriage, the best people to ask is an attorney in your county.