[babysoup3]

Hi,
I have 3 girls ages 2, 4, and 8. I want to have one more but my husband doesn't agree yet. Can anyone tell me if 4 is better or worse than 3?
Thank you!

[aqua@home]

I don't think anyone can tell you that. As I am sure you are well aware every child is different. You are looking to add another personality into your brood. You don't know what they will be like, that is just a chance you take. I don't think there is a number of children that is perfect. The numbers that work are different for everyone.

I think you should ask yourself a few questions.
1. Why doesn't your husband want any more? Is he the sole provider, will this cause him more stress, etc. WHAT REALLY MOTIVATES HIS "NO"??
2. Is this what is best for the children you already have?
3. Can you handle another one?

These are a few questions you need to ask yourself. I don't think women take men's feelings into consideration enough when it comes to this topic. I think for the most part we are more emotional when it comes to wanting children. There are of course exceptions. I think for most of us it is an instinct desire to want children.

Hope that helps.

BTW... I have 5 and that is too many... LOL
Seriously, it is a lot of work.

[RickJ]

Aqua is right on - I can only add a tad.

I have 6 kids but I never had only 4.
... when we thought we had #4, it was really 4 & 5 :eek: :p

Better or worse aren't the right words. Harder? Absolutely. I'd even call it twice as hard as 3 - not just 1/3rd harder.

But the joys are compounded the same. It is nothing that can be described in one post...

But most importantly: you must both be in full agreement.

[fredg]

Hi,
I do agree with Aqua, and rickj.
Tried giving Aqua a comment, but got a pop-up, "spread it around.....".
I had 2 children by my first marriage, and then married a wonderful woman with 1 child. I helped raise my step-daughter from age 5, seeing my 2 sons sometimes on weekends, but didn't have custody.
I really can't imagine 4 children!
Your husbands agreement with this is very, very important. It also depends on whether you both work full-time, or ever see a need to.
The costs of raising just one child is enough for me, but others have different opinions. I do wish you the best, and good luck.

[NeedKarma]

Shouldn't this be just between you and your husband? Will strangers on the internet sway you and your husband's decision?

[babysoup3]

I was only asking on the internet because all of my close friends have three kids and I wanted to know about four kids. I would never do anything without my husbands consent! I just wanted to hear from some parents of 4.

[rd68]

Have you finally gone crazy?:D You have three kids and now your wanting one more?I have two and don't want any more two's enough for me.:D

[JoeCanada76]

If you do want more that is you and your husbands decision. I have heard that even amount of children is good, but you never know. I was an only child for most of my life. Now that I am having children of my own, I would love to have 4 children but it also depends on the health of partners too. Whether they can have so many children or not. Good luck with you and maybe you and your husband can compromise.

Joe

[J_9]

I have 4 and love every minute of it. However, mine are spaced well so that each could have some good quality Mommy & Daddy time.

My oldest is 19 1/2, next is 18, both sons.

Daughter is 12 1/2

Youngest is a son who is 4.

If you do want 4 remember it is good to space them, if your young enough to do so.

I am 41, 37 when I had my youngest. My 12 year old daughter is a life saver when it comes to helping out. She is just like another Mom and the baby loves her as if she were a Mom.

So, if you want 4, as others have said, make sure you are in agreement with hubby (maybe he just wants to wait another year or 2).

[orange]

I always thought I wanted 4, but I now have 3 of my own (1 natural, 2 adopted), plus 3 others (2 nephews and a niece) who are here because of a family situation. So I have 6 kids under 10 in the house right now, between the ages of 9 all the way down to 6 weeks. It is a TON of work, and some days I feel like I'm going crazy. Nevertheless I do love children and I understand your feelings about wanting another. I get those feelings too, although not lately, lol!

The questions aqua asked you were awesome. You also may want to consider, is your house big enough, and financially can you really afford another child? And you might really want to think about why you want a 4th child... since you have 3 girls, is it to try for a boy? Or some other reason?

I think, as others have said, the big issue is your husband. The two of you really should agree to have another child. It's unfair to him, and also unfair to the future child, if he doesn't really want it.

[babysoup3]

Thanks everyone! Basically I am just praying about it. If it is meant to be it will be. My kids are 3,5 and 8. The 5 year old and the 8 year old are buddies and my littlest is by herself. I don't think she really minds this yet. Ha ha

[orange]

Thanks everyone! Basically I am just praying about it. If it is meant to be it will be. My kids are 3,5 and 8. The 5 year old and the 8 year old are buddies and my littlest is by herself. I don't think she really minds this yet. ha ha

Did your kids just have birthdays lol? In the first post they were 2, 4 and 8, and now suddenly they are 3, 5 and 8.

Well the stress of kids can definitely do that to you! ;)

[J_9]

Heck, I forget how old I am sometimes.

Johnny keeps me young. I am 41 but he makes me feel as though I am 21 sometimes! :D

[talaniman]

Talk to your husband there must be a good reason why he doesn't want more kids

[aqua@home]

Good decision. Prayer never hurts. You two will be able to make the right decision together. Good luck to you and your family.