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sacramento · Nov 22, 2008, 08:06 AM

My former friend (the friendship is broken beyond repair!) has my house key and my car key. I, in return, have her house key. I have repeatedly requested the return of these keys and she simply ignores my request. Of course, I will not return hers until she gives me mine! I do not understand why she is doing this unless she has some nefarious motive. What can I do to force the return? Thank you.:mad:

JudyKayTee · Nov 22, 2008, 09:11 AM

You can always take her to Court OR you can put your request in writing, give her X number of days (something reasonable) or else you are going to change the locks to protect yourself and then sue her for the charges.

I would be more interested in protecting my property and less interested in the legal end of things.

sacramento · Nov 22, 2008, 09:21 AM

My concern is not the legality of this matter so much as it is getting my keys back! I can change the house lock but how do I change the car lock without incurring a huge expense? She has no money and I would never be able to be reimbursed.

JudyKayTee · Nov 22, 2008, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by sacramento

My concern is not the legality of this matter so much as it is getting my keys back! I can change the house lock but how do I change the car lock without incurring a huge expense? She has no money and I would never be able to be reimbursed.

And that's the problem in these situations. She apparently didn't steal the keys. You gave them to her and she won't give them back so short of suing her for their return, I see no other answer. And I know it's frustrating. Car locks are expensive to change but it's also expensive to replace your car when it turns up missing.

You could always send her a certified letter, get a receipt, "remind" her that she has your keys, if "anything" happens to your home and/or car she is suspect number 1 - but that goes both ways because you also have her keys.

Otherwise if this is beyond the discussion phase - no way other than to sue her.

As a very side note I ran into my ex-husband about a year after our divorce. He had transferred out of State, was back to visit his family, obviously been drinking, we said hello, he went his way and I went mine. I went out to the restaurant parking lot and no car! Called the Police who found it in the parking lot next door. They were pretty sure I had forgotten where I parked it - I was pretty sure I had not. Anyway, when it all worked itself through my ex had never taken my car keys off his key ring (I had changed the house locks) and thought it would be "funny" to play a trick on me. So this kind of stuff can come back and bite you some time later.

I think you have to do what you have to do -

sacramento · Nov 22, 2008, 10:08 AM

Yours is absolutely the most sensible advice I have ever gotten on this website! Thank you!
I am taking your advice and sending a certified letter on Monday giving her until next Saturday to return the keys. I have also stated that I will hold her responsbile for any costs I incur. In PA there is a magisterial system (it stinks! But it's all we have) and I will go to the Magistrate a week from Monday to file suit against her. I have repeatedly asked her for the keys (and have been ignored) and told her I would return hers when she gives me mine! You're right... you got to do what you got to do! Thanks again!

JudyKayTee · Nov 22, 2008, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by sacramento

Yours is absolutely the most sensible advice I have ever gotten on this website!! Thank you!
I am taking your advice and sending a certified letter on Monday giving her until next Saturday to return the keys. I have also stated that I will hold her responsbile for any costs I incur. In PA there is a magisterial system (it stinks! but it's all we have) and I will go to the Magistrate a week from Monday to file suit against her. I have repeatedly asked her for the keys (and have been ignored) and told her I would return hers when she gives me mine! You're right.....you gotta do what you gotta do! Thanks again!

Come back and let us know what happens - and thank you for the very kind words. That's what makes this all worthwhile!

sacramento · Nov 22, 2008, 10:15 AM

Will do!

twinkiedooter · Nov 22, 2008, 05:42 PM

One thing that really bothers me about the "return the keys" thing. What is the big deal if she actually returns the keys but happily made a duplicate of both the house keys and the car keys in the meantime. If I were you I'd just change the locks on both the car and the house and chaulk it up to an expensive lesson learned. Don't "loan" out your keys in the future. Going to court is just going to be a waste of your time and money in my opinion. Judy does point out that you could do this. Oh, yes, I agree on that part also but in the real world I wouldn't give your friend enough rope to hang herself with either. If your car is an expensive model, change the locks. If your home has lots of valuables in it, change the locks. I hope in any event that you have great theft coverage insurance just in case. I wouldn't trust your ex friend as far as I could pick her up and throw her. In any event, it's your stuff, not mine and I would have changed all the locks a long time ago.

ballengerb1 · Nov 22, 2008, 06:31 PM

Twink is right, if she is jerking you around she probably has several copies already made. House keyes can be done for about $3 per lock if you buy the kit and do the lock yourself. Cars are more but mainly because you have several locks which all need to be changed. I'd bite the bullet and get everything changed by a pro and mentally subtract that amount from what you would have spent on her if you had stayed together. You will probably be money ahead.

twinkiedooter · Nov 23, 2008, 11:43 AM

Sacramento - you said "You don't get the point here". So what do you mean by that? The point you think is forcing her to return keys that she's already made copies of? The point that you want to make her do what you want her to do? The point that you have to actually spend money to change the locks? If you have to file a lawsuit against her, you'll have to pay a filing fee first off. Then you will have to take off work to attend a hearing. Then the Judge will order her to return the keys within so many days. Then if she does not return the keys you'll have to have another hearing to have the Judge find her in contempt of court. It seems to me that you are just trying to prove for whatever reason that you are demanding this person do as you want and they are defying you.

Ballinger had the right idea. Consider the money well spent.

Essentially all you have to do would be change the door locks on the car and the house locks. You don't have to go the extra expense of changing an ignition lock. You could file a police report if she happens to drive off with your car you know. It's called unauthorized use of a vehicle and that is punishable by jail time.

So what was the point I missed? I'm all ears.