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evolymmylove · Nov 20, 2008, 03:01 PM

I was in a rlationship with a woman when I was 17 we were together for 2 years on and off, she was an alchoolic. She cheated on me, she hit me she did so many things she was my first. But I always keept going back with her... until after the year she stopped drinking evertything was perfect we were so happy... but then one day I got home she was drinking again.. so withouth saying anything one day I just left didn't see her again... now I'm 20 years old and I still miss her even tough I been in other relationships I just don't forget her she still looks for me. I never seen her face to face or talk to her but I know she still looks for me because people tell me and friends to. I know she had a alchool addiction but I knew she loved me.. but yet I don know how long it will take for me to get over this what should I doooo..?

cadillac59 · Nov 20, 2008, 03:22 PM

I'm sure most will tell you to move on. I think being gay is considerably more difficult than being straight, depending on the part of the country you are in (I'm a gay man myself and I still think it's harder in general because we are a minority group with a history of not always having been treated so nicely). Plus, she is an alcoholic and you surely don't want to have to deal with that.

Find a local GLBT community center and get involved in some of their activities that interest you and meet some other gay people (men and women) and see how you do. Gay men tend to get along with lesbians and we tend to like them as friends (unfortunately the feelings are not always returned- some lesbians really dislike men in general, gay or straight). You'll do fine.

evolymmylove · Nov 20, 2008, 03:34 PM

Thanks I appreciate it and yeah I do get along with gay men that's as close as I get to a man lol. But yeah thanks I will try that... :)

talaniman · Nov 20, 2008, 06:37 PM

You did well not staying with a drunk, but Cadillac is correct. Make friends that you enjoy, and be happy doing the things you like.

You couldn't help her, she has to do that herself, but glad you didn't make her problem yours, or be dragged through the misery, and pain, she is going through.

Pray for her, but leave her alone.

cadillac59 · Nov 20, 2008, 11:31 PM

Originally Posted by evolymmylove

Thanks i appreciate it and yeah i do get along with gay men thats as close as i get to a man lol. but yeah thanks i will try that...:)

I think it helps to be around other gay people too. You have more in common with them (than say straight people) and are likely to enjoy yourself. We all have to live in a straight world, but there is a lot to be said about being in our own community (I get awfully tired of straight guys talking about their girlfriends, wives, sports and motorcycles, you know?. )

I've always gotten along with lesbians and I like them as friends. I don't want to play a game of pool with them because they will probably beat me (better hand-eye coordination I think) but, hey, we gay guys are better with colors and clothes, those sorts of things, right!:)