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    lovesmenot's Avatar
    lovesmenot Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 18, 2008, 04:31 PM
    Tired and not having sex/romance or fun
    I have been with my partner who is 8 yrs older than me for 6yrs. We have 2 children and he never wants sex. I have not had a orgasm for 5yrs and its making me more depressed I am 23 he is 31. I am constantly horny and wanting not just sex but romance.

    He was with his previous partner 10 year from school age, I think I my know why they broke up I am in my 20's I want romance and passion not sex twice a month if lucky were he sticks it in wiggles it and exits. Even when he is TRYING to pleassure me (once every 2months) its rough and turns me off. I lay there looking at celling or floor wishing it would end. Then after he rolls over I feel chested out of having pleasure.

    I am turning into a sad cow who does to the toilet puts the extractor on so I can play with myself and then I'm feeling dirty afterwards like I am cheating. I feel awkward openly masturbating because he might get turned on and spoil my fun.

    What should I tell him?
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #2

    Nov 18, 2008, 06:11 PM

    What should you tell him about what? Do you want him to change his ways, do you want to break up, do you want him to be romantic or leave you alone?
    lovesmenot's Avatar
    lovesmenot Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 19, 2008, 09:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by chuff View Post
    What should you tell him about what? Do you want him to change his ways, do you want to break up, do you want him to be romantic or leave you alone?
    Good question! I want advise because I want him to stop being so god damm selfish and put my needs on par with his but don't know what to say or even how he doesn't talk about feelings in fact he is so unemotional I want to slap him.
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #4

    Nov 19, 2008, 09:43 AM
    TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. Men can't read minds. Do you ever initate intimacy?
    lovesmenot's Avatar
    lovesmenot Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 19, 2008, 10:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jmw0713 View Post
    TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. Men can't read minds. Do you ever initate intimacy?
    Yes I feel like a sex pest.
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #6

    Nov 19, 2008, 10:24 AM
    OK. Its obvious that you two are not sexually compatible. Why are you still with him if your unhappy and being tortured?

    I remember when my ex stopped being intimate with me... I felt like you, a sex pest. I would always try to initiate sex, but it never happened for one reason or another. I felt very unhappy.

    Sometimes you just gotta know when to walk away and find someone more suited for you.

    I, like you, didn't walk away. I basically stayed in a sexless relationship with my ex for about another 1.5 years before she finally broke it off with me for the same reason I should have, we were both unhappy. She asked me "When was the last time we had sex?" when she broke up with me over the phone. I told her I tried to, but she never wanted to.

    A relationship takes two people to work. If one is not into it as much as the other...someone will always end up unhappy. We were both unhappy, but too afraid of hurting the other to end it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Nov 20, 2008, 09:08 AM

    If you can't work together through communications, then what's the point of being miserable where your at?
    hotmama51's Avatar
    hotmama51 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Nov 20, 2008, 02:19 PM
    Oh, my God, you are living my life and I have only been in my relationship for a year and a half and I feel like a roommate.
    I think you should end it and find someone who will meet your needs. I love my boyfriend very much but I am a person who thrives by love and affection. My girlfriend told me and I will tell you that he is starving your soul. Life is too short girl. It will hurt but he is hurting you by not being sensitive to your needs. I myself have tried giving back the same medicine by not cuddling at night and turning my back to him when I go to bed and I lay there thinking, this is for the birds... how can a man not show his affection to the woman he loves... how can he not want to be intimate? I just don't get it. Men are known in this world to be horn dogs and how did I get stuck with someone that just doesn't have any kind of a desire? Ask yourself these questions. Internet dating is great but you do have to be careful and weed out all the weirdo's. Funny as that is how I met my current boyfriend who thinks I am the best but I am not able to express myself the way that I want to in the bedroom as he laughs and thinks I need to take pills for my overactive libido... I should have knocked him on his !
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #9

    Nov 20, 2008, 02:40 PM
    Pills to cure the overactive libido... HA! Thinking back... I wish my ex had an overactive libido. She did when we first met and it was great... but then all that went away. It left me thinking what happened?
    LifeChangesMan's Avatar
    LifeChangesMan Posts: 329, Reputation: 39
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    #10

    Nov 20, 2008, 03:46 PM
    I think this is something that needs to be attempted to be fixed through communication, and if he can't still satisfy you physically after knowing how you feel, either move on to someone who can satisfy your needs, or invest in a dildo and love him for who he is.

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