[Thorby]

Hi guys my names paula and I'm 19 years old. I've been going out with my current boyfriend for just over 3 years now and for the first two years everything was great. Great sex life great social life etc. However for the past six months to a year he's not been himself. Well we are both 19 so you can imagine how high our sex drives are... or at least they were. I have a very high sex drive and my partner used to as well however recentley he hasn't wanted to. He always has a headache or a sore back or stommach or isn't in the mood or is stressed but after six months to a year of the same excuses I'm starting to think its me? He used to be all over me all of the time but now even a kiss is rare. We only have sex about twice a month whereas it used to be like everydy? When we first got together I was a uk size 10 but I'm now a uk size 14 due to comfort eating through a really bad about of depression I had he generally goes for bigger girls so whether or not its my weight I have no clue? He always tells me that I'm gorgeous and sexy so I can't come to a conclusion as to why he doesn't want me anymore. I've tried absolutley everything to spice things up and try new positions but he just isn't intersted. I even worry there's someone else please help me all advice and opinions welcome thanks xx

[interpreterdeaf]

There are so many possile reasons for his "lack of interest." Your size change isn't really that much and it would seem after 2 years your relationship would be much deeper than that anyway, so I think its safe to disregard. It is quite common for couples to lose sexual interest as the relationship progresses through time. I assume you have discussed with him directly how you feel? Have you asked yourself honestly how important the sexual part of your relationship is to you? If it's something you can live without (Or take care of by yourself) then I would recommend letting it go for a while. It could be he is having some insecuruties or physical problems himself and taking the attention off that subject in itself will be enough. If you decide the sexual aspect istoo important to let it go any further I suggestsometime soon u should sit down with him during a comfortable casual time (not in bed or even the bed room!) Explain to him this part of your relationship is important to you and you still desire him sexually and ask him if there is anything you can do to remedy the situation. Then, (and this is the hard part) sit quietly and listen. Try to keep an open and pleasant look on your face so he feels he can speak to you without judgement or criticizm. Good luck to you.

[talaniman]

Do you guys live together?

[LifeChangesMan]

I would approach him and speak with him about it and tell him what the sexual part of your relationship means to you because communication is so huge in relationships and pretty vital for success, and don't worry about your size I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with that. :p