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Lizzyb6938 · Nov 13, 2008, 04:14 PM

My boyfriend and I dated 2.5 years. We broke up (his idea) because he's doing med, I might be moving away etc. some of you might have already read my story. Basically we met up on Monday had the nicest day. He told me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me and never wanted to let me go. He wrote me a message afterwards saying that he loves me and wants to be the man of my dreams. Since then we've spoken on the phone once and I suggested we do something before he goes away (in 4 days) because we had such a good time. He's very busy packing and getting things organised before he goes away but said I could come to a dinner with his friends on the sat. I asked if he wanted me to come and he said he didn't mind and wanted me to decide which is enfuriating. I think it might be awkward to come because his friends will wonder what's going on and it might look a bit pathetic. He was so wonderful on Monday, but last night he was a little ambivalent (but then I've always noticed the difference between when I see him and our phone conversations).

I'm kind of considering saying no contact while he's away. I think it would be great to think and to just really let us both be alone. Because contact at this point is just making it that much more confusing. But I don't know if this would totally push him away.

This is what I'm considering sending him.

hey,
i'm not going to come on saturday.as much as seeing you would be great i think it would be a little weird to be honest lol.

I think it would be best as well if we don't contact one another whilst your away. i don't think speaking is very helpful at the moment and if anything is just contributing to confusion on both our parts. i think taking this time to really be alone without one another presence in any capacity (even though the contact could not possibly be much while your away) might be the best idea. i think it would really help in processing what has happened, because messaging, facebooking etc is just going to make it harder and more confusing at this time.

Monday was one of the best days I've ever had. Have the best trip ever, don't forget the tower of London.

love you
Lizzy

What do you think?

LifeChangesMan · Nov 13, 2008, 04:27 PM

I wouldn't send the letter, people who take that approach see it as a good thing at the time, then usually regret it down the road. I've already read your story and can tell it's still on your mind and would like to reassure you, you will be fine by yourself but, you need the no contact thing or it will stir old feelings, and thoughts of confusion don't worry about him anymore, do you, live your life.

Lizzyb6938 · Nov 13, 2008, 04:40 PM

Thanks, I know I'll be all right. It's just so confusing because I know he loves me and I love him. He suggested we get back together on Monday and I said no because he was still confused. Do you think I should even message and say I'm not coming on Saturday? Or just leave it. Because he told me to message either way I decide.

LifeChangesMan · Nov 13, 2008, 04:46 PM

I don't see the harm in telling him your not going seems like you two are still communicating right now.

Bural21 · Nov 13, 2008, 05:52 PM

Personally, I wouldn't send that letter. Just wish him a good trip, and tell him to have fun, and possibly ask him if you two could get dinner when he gets back - maybe both your heads will be clear, and you might be ready to start over.

Best of luck to you.

Lizzyb6938 · Nov 13, 2008, 07:08 PM

He already wants to have dinner when he gets back, he suggested it. We both said we wanted another day like the one we had when he came home and figure it out from there. So I guess I'll just have to have fun during this time, concentrate of me, maybe look around a little and just let it be for a while. I really have a feeling this time will be good for both of us