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    canepa123's Avatar
    canepa123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Nov 9, 2008, 11:25 PM
    I don't know what to do
    I just recently got into it with my boyfriend ove the stupidest thing ever. He's the kind of guy who if you say something he doesn't like he will make you fell like 1000 times more. :( I'm so sad I've been crying for over 5 hours (I know stupit me) but I honestly don't know what to do...
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
    		  
    #2

    Nov 9, 2008, 11:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by canepa123;
    ive been crying for over 5 hours (i know stupit me) but i honestly dont know what to do...
    Sure you do. You're letting the idea "but I love him" make you stupid. You don't have to do that. You're crying so long because you DO know what to do and your very sad admitting that to yourself.

    Dating is an experiment. It's not a prison. You date someone you already like to see if your life is actually better being with them... or not.

    It's usually NOT. Most dating experiments end with the relationship ending. There is almost ALWAYS some reason that you can't be happy. It takes YEARS to find that "click" of all the things.

    Yes, I know... you like/love him. I repeat... don't let that fact make you dumb.

    When someone makes your life miserable simply by sharing themselves with you and because you shared with them... you cease the interaction. Or at least cut it WAY back until the abusive ways stop... which they usually don't.

    The truth is (and this is what's making you cry), you may not be able to help him stop this UNLESS you break up with him for real and calmly, unangrily tell that you're doing it for the reason that he abuses your spirit by the way he talks to you.

    If this behavior COSTS him you, he might overcome it with his next girlfriend... probably not... but if SHE breaks up with him for the same reasons... eventually he may get it. SOME woman in his future will eventually benefit from the things you teach him as you walk out the door.

    If you don't leave, or try to come back later, he won't learn anything.

    I'm sorry for your situation. You can love him, but you can't stay with him and change him. Only by leaving MAYBE he'll do better next time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Nov 11, 2008, 08:53 AM

    Do you love him enough to put up with his crap, cry about it, and feel stupid?

    If you don't, do something about it.

    If you do, keep being stupid.
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