[wreck23]

I have been dating this girl for 4 years. We met when I was in the 9th grade and she was in the 11th. Im going to be honest, I have broken up with her in the past for 3 different females and after each one we get back together. Well about a month ago she pushed my buttons and I broke up with her. I regreted it because that's not what I really want, so I asked her back out 2 days later and she told me NO because she wants to find herself and that I've hurt her so much in the past that she wants to be free and not be tied down. She says she still loves me, that I'm the one she wants to be with forever but she doesn't want to be in a relationship now. She doesn't want me to move on and find someone else. She says she wants to be my friend. I tried to be her friend but it didn't work out, we ended up crossing the frined line. Than I tried to ignore her because it hurt so much but it didn't work either. She says she's not sure about how long it will take to find herself. I need some advice on what I can do or say to her to make it better and for her to realize I love her. Should I try to win her heart again and if so how do I cure a broken heart? Or should I just be her frined and nuthin more and just hope shell come back? Also how long does it usually take to find yourself? HELP PLEASE!!

[starbuck8]

So you started dating when you were around 14 or 15. You are now 18 or so, and she is about 21, if my math here is correct. You both missed out on a lot on your dating years. Neither of you have had much life experience or experience with dating, or getting to know who you are outside of your "relationship"

There is no time limit for "finding yourself", and at her age, I'm pretty sure that means she wants to meet new people, and experience new things. Although I'm sure she cares about you a lot, she needs to go and find out who she really is, and might want to explore other things, like dating other guys.

This happens when you get together at such young ages. One or the other, or both, want to explore other things. I don't mean to say that to hurt you, because I know that's a hard pill to swallow, but you need to be prepared for that.

Being her friend right now is just going to make it harder on you. She will, trust me she will, go on other dates. Then if something goes wrong, and she is upset, she will come running back to you as a friend. Then the whole cycle will start again. You will cross the line of friendship, and she will sooner or later quite likely just see you as a friend. Someone that will be there to comfort her, and then she will go on to finding herself again, and you will be left with a broken heart again.

DO NOT sit and wait for her. It will show her that she can manipulate you. The best thing that you can do is go out and date other people yourself. She will probably realise that you are moving on, and it will force her to make a decision. Trust me, moving on is your best bet. It doesn't do your heart any good to wait for someone else to make a decision. You will be miserable, while she is out finding herself.

I know it's tough and it hurts, but you will get through it if you handle it the right way. Don't make things so urgent. If she "finds herself", which by the way, is a classic line (sorry, but it is) she will come back around. In the meantime, give yourself a little time to get your head straight, and then get out there and go on a few dates. And that doesn't mean you have to sleep with any of them

Good luck! :)