[vev_pro]

I love a girl like... (I can't say may be million times.I consider her my mother,friend,love etc etc).I don't know whether she loves me.we haven't conversed much.I want to convey the love to her.but whenever I see her I forget myself&words don't come from my mouth.I thought of giving a letter to her but I am afraid whether she would tear that without reading my heart.what to do?

[starbuck8]

It sounds like you have a fear of rejection, as so many people do. You mentioned that she represents a mother figure to you. Is she much older than you? Or does she mother you, and make you feel more confident about yourself.

I see from your prior posts that you have a bit of a body image problem. Could this be why you look to her as a mother figure? Has she helped you with things concerning how you feel? Is this why you are scared to ask her out on a date? Do you think you might lose her friendship?

But on the other hand, if she cares about you as a friend, I don't know why she would rip up something you wrote her. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Maybe she has been waiting for you to ask.

Good luck!

[JBeaucaire]

If you don't converse much, then you have to calm yourself down here. You can't honestly claim "love", just absolutely irresistible attraction.

If you're not conversing much yet, breaking that wall down with a letter may not be the best course, unless you're a phenomenal writer. I mean the best! Are you?

You will need to relax and plan out a real-life path to setting a foundation to talking with her, then dating, THEN eventually bringing up "love" talk. Way too soon for that, now.

[starbuck8]

Oh, maybe I should have clarified what I meant. I certainly didn't mean writing her a letter to say he was in love with her, or even wanted a relationship. I was talking about just a date. I guess I didn't make that very clear did I.

[jrsg]

Yeah... hardly love. Infatuation, maybe.

Try to build up the courage to talk to her, to her face. If you can't do that, how do you expect to date her? Find something you two have in common, and talk about it!

And Starby is right, you sound really afraid of rejection. You really don't have to be. It happens to everyone.

Good luck!
And let us know how everything goes :)

[vev_pro]

No man definitlely not infactuation.I have come acroos lotssss of crushes .those times I don't hesitate seeing other girls but now I don't see other girls.even in a crowd of 100000 my eyes will definitely search for her only.even if she is older may be 1 or 2 years I don't bother

[JBeaucaire]

no man definitlely not infactuation.i hav come acroos lotssss of crushes .those times i dont hesitate seeing other girls but now i dont see other girls.even in a crowd of 100000 my eyes will definetly search for her only.even if she is older may be 1 or 2 years i dont bother

Yeah, man, definitely infatuation. Your comment above describes obsessive infatuation to a tee!

Love, developed, doesn't freak like that. It's a very comfortable place to be. You'll know the difference when it happens.

Don't get me wrong, you DO need to deal with this infatuation, it's as powerful a force as anything. Just don't hung up on the semantics.

[linnealand]

You're 25. How old is she?

To be honest, I have gotten love letters from men that I have been interested in and love letters from men that I haven't been interested in. I've still treasured all of them. In theory, expressing your feelings for her and asking her out on a date through a letter is a great idea. In reality, it really depends how it's done.

Please don't take this the wrong way. It's for your benefit. You seem a little giddy. While love or love-like feelings can do that to us, you sounded like a school boy. I thought you were in your mid teens until I found your age in one of your other threads. I don't know if it was just sloppiness on your part or what, but if you do decide to write this letter, utilize some self control and edit it carefully. If you don't, I think you might just scare her off.

One thing that confuses me is this "mother" thing. I would like to know what this means to you. If you want my advice, do not include that in your letter. No healthy woman wants the mother role in a romantic relationship. It's just weird.

Also, you included this line in your last post: "even if she is older may be 1 or 2 years i dont bother." what does this mean? Are you trying to say that you're usually most attracted to women who are one or two years older than you? I'm confused.

Again, if you do write this letter, you're going to need to be very careful with the things you say. I feel that even as a group we're having trouble understanding your questions. I can't imagine what this woman would be thinking if she had to decipher any of this alone.

Do you have any idea if she's interested in you? In any case, although you seem to feel swept away by your feelings for her, you will have to prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection.

[starbuck8]

I had to spread the rep Linny, but those were my exact thoughts! The "mother" thing, was the first thing I noticed. I found that curious. And then the mention of age again.

vev_pro, I think you might want to leave the letter for the time being. I get a odd feeling from this. I am not trying to make you feel bad, but I don't think either you nor she is ready for anything more than a platonic friendship right now. It sounds more to me like an obsession with you. You need to back up a little and give this some more thought.

[vev_pro]

Oh I am childish right? I kept myself in isolation for years becoz my dear friends left me(who likes to be with a man of failure).I never succeeded in anything.I am jobless.I attended some interviews got selected but at the last moment I would be rejected(may be of some nasty politics).I would be the first to go &help my friends iin midery but when I was in such a situation nobody came to me.I haven't seen the joys of my similar age people.what I saw was failure.ok I started loving pain.I&few werebetrayed continuously by professors.others ran away without completing degree but I stood up &completed.most prof used bad&filthy language.ok its all in the game.
Your all right.if she rejects OK.I won't marry another girl &spoil her life becoz I am a child by mind(I accept it)

[vev_pro]

I still wonder why I was born?

[JBeaucaire]

i still wonder why i was born?

To give some bored molecules something fun to do! Make the most of it...

[linnealand]

oh i am childish right??i kept myself in isolation for years becoz my dear friends left me(who likes to be with a man of failure).i never succeded in anything.i am jobless.i attended some interviews got selected but at the last moment i would be rejected(may be of some nasty politics).i would be the first to go &help my friends iin midery but when i was in such a situation nobody came to me.i havnt seen the joys of my similar age people.what i saw was failure.ok i started loving pain.i&few werebetrayed continously by professors.others ran away without completing degree but i stood up &completed.most prof used bad&filthy language.ok its all in the game.
ur all right.if she rejects ok.i wont marry another girl &spoil her life becoz i am a child by mind(i accept it)

I'm not sure I understood everything you said, but it still made me sad. :(

I don't think anyone was saying that you are "a child by mind."

Honestly, I think it's clear now (and it wasn't entirely so in your first post, but I should have picked up on it) that English is not your mother tongue. You'd be surprised how many native English speakers write in the same way. I think that's where some confusion set in from the beginning.

Go write your letter. Tell her how you feel. I wish you luck.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

[vev_pro]

No not hard.I have started thinking whether I should spoil her life.why?let all the miseries go by my heart.the only friend of me is myself.
THANKS for everyone for making me know of myself.thanks very much.

[vev_pro]

Any others with different opinions&views?just post it.becoz from some of the friends answers I got a rough picture of myself.I don't have anyone to tell me to correct or comment my behaviour. Come up