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    Blackpnthr's Avatar
    Blackpnthr Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 5, 2008, 05:05 AM
    Dating an older guy(10yrs my senior) and not sure if it will work
    I am 18yrs and he's 28.We have been dating for about 4 months now and everythinf was going greaat until now.Well we both know that our age difference is huge and we talk about our feelings towards thias a lot and we kbew from the start that is was not going to be easy.My problem with him now is that he is not a very oprn person.Whenever he has problems he shuts me out.I sometimes winder if he does not want to talk to me about it cause I am young and won't understand or what.It got to a point that I asked him to come see mr this past weekend and he said he wanted to be alone.:mad:He really said that to me.And he has not had sex with me for the past 2 weeks.He came to see me the da:mad: and I tried to talk to him about it and he just kept quiet.He does not take me seriously.He then pretends like everything is OK.:mad:I wonder if has anything to do with the fact that I am younger or if its just his personality!!
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #2

    Nov 5, 2008, 07:52 AM

    You first need to understand that men and women are different! Generally men will not talk about their feelings or how badly they are hurting. Women on the other hand tend to want to talk it ALL out. For some good comparisons, do a YouTube search for Mark Gunger or "laugh your way to a better marriage". There are about 8 snippets on you tube and if you watch all of them maybe it will give you some insite into how we (men) work.
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #3

    Nov 5, 2008, 10:40 PM

    The age difference may or may not be why he shuts you out. He sounds disfunctional. Having trouble sharing your feelings with a partner is a universal difficulty. Males don't always communicate well with words. Then, just observe their actions.

    He shuts you out. He withholds sex. He doesn't take you seriously. That's plenty of communication for me. Bye, "John Wayne."

    Of course, he has a sweet side too. But every time things get difficult for him in life, this is how he will be.
    Fiona2003's Avatar
    Fiona2003 Posts: 45, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Nov 6, 2008, 02:16 PM

    It sounds to me like he is feeling overwhelmed... and it may not even be anything you're doing!

    If you can, try a week off. Don't tell him why or even ask for it, just go and spend time with friends, reading a good book, maybe even go get your hair or nails done. Spend a whole week on YOU!

    Most guys pull the emergency brake when even the slightest "new feeling" comes up in them. They are not very talkative and don't chat about things with their guy friends about these things, so they can get a touch of panic once in a while.

    What men DO find attractive in a woman is someone who can tend to herself and give him a little space to figure things out. No offence, but guys need way more time to do this than girls.

    Most likely, he will come back to you refreshed and better than ever... and you will be relaxed and restyled!

    The worst that can happen is that you get quality time with yourself and those who care about you! You can't lose!

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