[kc lynn]

Hello, I'm in need of help.. I have a boyfriend of 6 months and we are so happy we are togather. Suddenly this week my boyfriend acts all depressed. I ask him what's wrong. He says we don't see a lot of each other. I know we don't see a lot of each other cause we are sooo BUSY. When he calls he always sooo depressed and it makes me sad. I don't want him to brake up with me because we don't see eachother. I need help!!!!!:(
Sincerely
Lost in Love

[CaptainForest]

While some couples that have been together for years on end might love not seeing each other, it is usually not that good for new relationships.

To have a relationship, one of the key ingredients is time to invest.

When you are too busy for a relationship, it makes it kind of difficult to have one.

When you don't see the other person much, it is hard for a new relationship (6 months) to survive.

It is one thing if you go into it with the mind set of not seeing each other much, but most of the time that's not the case.

He obviously wants a girlfriend that he can see.

If your lives are just so busy to fit each other in, perhaps its not the right time for you 2 to be together.

[kc lynn]

So are you saying we should brake up or to continue this great relationship?

[JoeCanada76]

How about making an effort to see each other more often? If you think it is a great relationship, prove it. To yourself and to your boyfriend. Make time for each other.

[CaptainForest]

What I am saying is that if you aren't willing to make more of an effort in your BUSY schedule for you boyfriend, then you should break up.

Well, it sounds like he will break up with you.

If you want to keep this boyfriend, then you will need to make time for him. Make him a higher priority than he currently is on your list.

[valinors_sorrow]

I am going to have to disagree with the posts here. You are not the "fix" to his depression. He needs to get to the bottom of it - and I would bet that "not seeing enough of you" is not it. Or if it is and you see more of him, you just set the pattern for future manipulations, in my humble opinion. Encourage him to talk about it more, to look in all the nooks and crannies, to discover the root. Its his problem after all. If it's a matter of you have a life and he doesn't, then it will take more than you have to give to fix that one. Its important to have the problem clearly defined so to match it to the correct solution. You can be supportive but I seriously doubt you'll be or have the solution. It just doesn't work that way from what I have experienced of the world.

[J_9]

Darn, have to spread more love around before giving it back again.

I totally agree with Val. There is something more to this "depression" or funk that he is in and you must get to the bottom of it before it becomes worse.

[Marj Ann]

KC/Lynn: I agree that IF your 'boyfriend' is perpetually depressed, et al... it is most likely NOT because of a lack of QUALITY time with you. Do me something? Make a couple of LISTS. What you LIKE about this guy & what YOU DON'T... or don't KNOW. Maybe this 'love' is more a matter of seeing him as a 'match' for your subconscious 'ideal'; ya' know? List his QUALITIES you respect, admire, & LIKE & those you "QUESTION" that he DISPLAYS. BEFORE you invest too deeply & decide you LOVE this guy, find out for sure you LIKE & respect him. I've found that we KNOW about people ONLY what they ALLOW us to know. Everyone 'protects themselves with'masks' so to speak. Behind his 'mask' COULD be a very 'troubled' & 'Needy' sort that upon CLOSER inspection, could prove to be your WORST nightmare; Possessive or jealous to the max, verbally, physically or emotionally abusive... Emotional being the ABSOLUTE WORSE! [All in the name of 'Love', of course] Find out, ask & gently probe to discover his VALUES, who his Heroes are, what motivates him & find out HOW he thinks about & treats his MOTHER. Take care & do your HOMEWORK, OK?

[valinors_sorrow]

Or... on second thought... if this turns out to be his embellished manner or poor choice of wording to say "I don't like how we aren't spending enough time together - can we talk about this?" I would suggest you let him know that plain english, without all the drama, works better.

[talaniman]

To automatically conceed to someone's wishes might not be the way to go ,so take the time to learn more about them before you get out in left field. Your just starting to learn about this person. :cool: :)

[s_cianci]

Well, how often do you see each other? How often would he like to see you? How often do you want to see him? It may not sound terribly romantic, but have you tried establishing a "dating schedule" with each other, where you set aside specific times to be together? For example, how do you spend your Saturday nights? That could be time reserved for each other. If Saturday night is not a good time, then some other night (or day) during the week. Try to squeeze in a mid-week lunch date or dinner date, whenever your schedules permit. It seems like the two of you are not going to get to spend more quality time with each other unless the two of you make a conscientious attempt at making it happen.

[mariel womack]

Hello, i'm in need of help.. I have a boyfriend of 6 months and we are so happy we are togather. Suddenly this week my boyfriend acts all depressed. I ask him whats wrong. He says we don't see alot of eachother. I know we don't see alot of eachother cause we are sooo BUSY. When he calls he always sooo depressed and it makes me sad. I don't want him to brake up with me because we don't see eachother. I need help!!!!!:(
Sincerely
Lost in Love

Baby take some time off being sooo busy and work things out with you man. Set up a nice date, and hang out with him for a while. Or just explain to him that you are very busy and that you will make some time for you and him. You can save your relationship all you have to do is talk to him.

PRAY THE LORD WILL ALWAYS ANSWER YOU!!