[helpmefindem]

I put this in the relationsships section, cause this kind of does deal with my and my girlfriends relationship, as well as an old friendship and an old relationship. Sorry if it sounds confusing, but I will explain in better detail, and I do apologise if this is extrodinarily long. Anyway, here is the "Situation"

While in Job corps, I went on medical leave and met with a girl who was stying at (at the time) my friends house (he isn't a friend of mine anymore). He kind of set me up with her, and the two of started going out. My doctor later said I was well enough to back to Job Corps, and after getting back, she and I kept in constant touch.

After graduating from Job corps, I went to his house a lot to hang out with her and stuff. And I know what your thinking, but at the time, my old friend had a wife, and when he had a wife, he wasn't so... how can I put this nicely... tempted easily, if that makes sense. Anyway, after a while, he got a divorce from his wife because she beat their kid black and blue. My ex (now) girlfriend (at the time) was still living with him, but I can't entirely remember why, but she moved out of his house, and moved in with her mom.

A few months down the road, I found my own place and lived there on my own for about a month or so. I told her (my ex) I had my own place and she debated moving in with me, but eventually she did. I kind of noticed things getting rock with our relationship about six months after she moved in, she constantly wanted to go back to my old friends house to hang out which was about a 45-50 minute drive. But, being the doormat I was with her, we went anyway.

Now, the both of them, (my ex and old friend) were really into wrestling. We all were watching DVD's of wrestling and eventually I got into it too. But they were into it a little more hardcore. They often wrestled each other, and I do mean FULL CONTACT wrestling, the pinning, the suplexes, you name it, they were doing it. I was always voted to be the ref. I notced he would often "accidentally" slip up and grab her chest, and she always acted like he didn't, and they would keep at it. They only stopped when one of them got hurt.

When we got to our one year anniversary mark, (don't ask why) I proposed to her, and she said yes. For about two months after I proposed, she started to want to go out to "Friends" houses whowm she worked with at what she called Wally World. (Wal-Mart). So, I didn't really have any suspicons (I don't know why) and she would often come home drunk. Sooner or later we moved in with my old friend after convincing his grandmother (who was the landlord and lived next door) that she and I would find our own place within four months. Well, then she was constantly on the phone with "Someone from work" and one night we had to talk, and in a nutshell she said to me she was getting bored with me, and the wedding is off, and that same night she called the wedding off, she already had a new boyfriend.

At the time, obviously I was torn apart, but now, I am thanking GOD I DIDN'T marry her! Because after finding another girlfriend (Who I have never been happier with in my entire life) I soon found out that she and my old friend were fooling around with each other on one night that my current girlfriend and her ex were at his house. To make things easier I will use fake names for each person the names go as follows:

Joe- My old Friend
Amber- My ex
Starr- My current girlfriend
Matt- My current Girlfrineds Ex

Anyway, the four of them were all at Joe's house, and Matt wanted to do a four-some (hence the reason Joe called Amber telling her to come up without me, and stupidly I let her) but Starr wasn't into that kind of thing and even after Amber showed up, Matt still wanted a four-some. At the time Matt was kind of a friend of mine too, but no as much as Joe was, but anyway, eventually Matt and Amber were doing their thing, and Joe went and fooled around with Amber. Not sure how long all that lasted, but then Matt talked Starr into going in the other room with Joe, and she did, after Matt began to fool around with Amber. Then Joe took her into a different room and they fooled around. At this time, Amber was my girlfriend, this all happened a week before I proposed to her. I only know about this because Starr told me about the entire thing, because she knew that Amber was my girlfriend at the time.

Anyway, I was single for about two, two and a half months, and I started talking to Starr on-line through myspace. Then, we would sign off myspace, and sign on AIM, and we'd talk for an hour or two, then she'd have to go home, (she had to use her parents computer) Then, she asked if I'd like to hang out with her, and yes, I did know she was Matt's ex, and she had been broken up with him for about six months prior to me talking to her on-line.

After a while, she and I began going out, and now Joe, and Matt both are constantly saying how much of a backstabber I am for dating Matt's ex, EVEN THOUGH he is currently engaged to a new girl. Even when I confronted Joe about how I know he fooled around with Amber, he thew a little hissy fit, and denied it up and down (what a surprise) and yet, he has the nerve to say I am a backstabber. Joe told me I should have asked Mtt first if I could date his ex. The two of them even began spreading rumors about Starr, just to get me to break up with her, and to this day, Joe still causes trouble, spreading rumors, and one of his friends who does know Starr, also helps in spreading nasty rumors about her, that she, and even I can both PROVE are just rumors, and are entirely false. Now, Why can't Joe just leave me the **** alone, and let me be happy? Why does he have to consistently try and cause trouble between me and Starr, as though we are in middle school? Does anyone have any outside input, on what they think of this whole situation?

Oh, by the way, Joe claims Starr "is the biggest whore and has slept with half the town" when he is dating someone who is 9 years older than him, is married to another guy, and has 5 kids with 3 different fathers, and leaves her kids with someone I assume, just to go to the bar to be with Joe. Forgot to put this little piece of info in.

[Romefalls19]

Ok, I am going to digest this the best I can. Step up and be a man, say something to Matt about his behavior(no don't fight) and tell him it needs to stop. Who cares about rumors anyway? If you and her know they aren't true then why does it matter?

Second, don't judge his S.O because you don't know her well enough too. You are stooping to his level by insulting his girlfriend.

[talaniman]

If you don't want all that drama, stop hanging with drama queens, that goes for your so called buddy too.

[TrueFaith]

Its not worth it.

You already was The REF at there little 4 play games..
No need to get sucked in anymore

Be the bigger person here.. walk away
And enjoy your new life.