Check out some similar questions!

littlemissyhill · Oct 27, 2008, 12:00 PM

Here is the whole thing see my little was conseved when I was d. and I married the man she calls daddy when she was 4 months old. And we have been divorced for 10 yrs and now he wants to adopt her and give her his name like her younger brothers. Should we do this and if so how do we do this she is always asking why she has so many things different from her brothers. Like last name and hair color and that stuff. I know we are going to have to tell her that he is not her father but that he is her dad he has always been there for her and she is now 12 almost 13.

excon · Oct 27, 2008, 12:03 PM

Hello little:

Ifin it was ME, I wouldn't have kept the truth from my child AT ALL. But, that's just me. In any case, I certainly think it's about time for some truth over there, no?

excon

stinawords · Oct 27, 2008, 12:20 PM

If you are divorced he can not adopt her. You would have had to have been married for at least a year and while married you would have had to ask the bio father to allow the adoption. Is the bio father on the because? Honestly, I would just tell her why all those things are different because it isn't a matter of should he adopt it was more could he have adopted but if you aren't even married anymore then in all the states that I am aware of it isn't possible. However, in a few states if he presented himself as her father for a set amount of time (I really don't know what that is because it doesn't apply in my state) then he could have been declaired her legal father. Again because you are divorced I'm not sure that will even be posible anymore or in your state. You might want to call up a local family attorney and get a consultation with them even if it costs a little bit of money (consutations generally cost less then hiring them for services that can't even be rendered).

MsMewiththat · Oct 27, 2008, 12:27 PM

OK, your question is kind of broken up, but if I understand it correctly you had a baby by a man that you have since divorced. The man that you are currently married to has been in her life and she knows him to be her father and you would like him to adopt her. Ask her biological father to give up parental rights and have your new huband adopt her. Either way... get a blood test, know for sure who her father is, if you don't already and then tell the little darling the truth. It's been too long for her not to know who her father really is. She is old enough to be included in the decision at this point. Why wait so long for truth?

littlemissyhill · Oct 31, 2008, 11:37 AM

OK I am sorry for not making myself clear. It is very hard for me to talk about this. But my little was conceved by and the man that has been in her life from the time she was 4 months old wants her to have his last name and yes we were married for 5 yrs she calls him daddy he is the father to my 2 boys. I just need to now how to break this to her or should I tell her how she was conceved at all.