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stuckonyou7 · Oct 26, 2008, 04:39 PM

I've been broken up with my first love for three months now, and I began to really like another boy, the other night we had sex and immediately following I had this emotional rush and texted my ex, I can't get him out of my head now and the other boy seems like history to me.. is this normal?

smitttyx2 · Oct 26, 2008, 05:05 PM

Only true feelings can end liking someone sex is a physical act not an emotional one my opinion of course

Fr_Chuck · Oct 26, 2008, 05:11 PM

No not normal, esp since you should not be having the sex until you are deeply and seiously committed to the relastionship

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 26, 2008, 06:31 PM

Well sex is a physical act BUT it can also be very emotionally charged. Also need to say sex should not be something that makes the actual bonds but something that reinforces them and strengthens them.

kitten420 · Oct 26, 2008, 07:34 PM

Yes it is normal. YOu still have feelings for your ex apperantly. Most likley because you have more of a connection with your ex and sex is completley difrent when it is with someone you truly care about. Maybe you still miss your ex and want to be with him. How many guys have you had intercourse with on an emotional level? This can also be a reason why he was in your mind afterwards. Maybe it just wasn't the same with that other guy then it was with your ex.

EN Ken · Oct 27, 2008, 01:59 AM

I personally cannot say whether this is normal because this is the first time I've ever heard of this happening, however, I can provide some kind of explanation although I am not certain that it is correct.

My feeling on this matter is that in all likelihood, your first love was also the first guy you had sex with and because you loved him you associated that love for him with the sexual act itself. So that over time, each time the two of you had sex, that feeling of you love you had for him became more closely associated with sex.

I think what has happened is that when you had sex with this new guy, this triggered this association and thus brought back your feelings for your ex.

Now that these feelings have been triggered, it is up to you whether to pursue them again. In general, however, I caution against dating exes because, in my opinion, there was a reason that you broke up the first and in most cases that reason doesn't change.