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Emily18 · Oct 26, 2008, 07:39 AM

I'm 18 and my BF is 19, we have been going out for 3 months now and I lost my virginity to him recently we have had sex twice now and I was surprised to notice losing my virginity was not painful for me I was happy about this till the second time I had sex I noticed I got no pleasure from sex I mean nothing at all I just feel him moving inside me, but when he fingers me it feels good, some people told me I just had sex with him to early and was not ready, I really be leave I was ready and I was happy I lost my virginity to someone I really care about, is the sex not good cause I'm new to it will it get better?

TexasParent · Oct 26, 2008, 01:22 PM

The mind is the body's largest sex organ. You could try thinking about things you would like to do with him; fantasize about different scenario's and try those that you got aroused thinking about.

Also, you need to get in touch with your own body, so masturbate more and fantasize more.

This will make sex much more enjoyable.

---------------------

Fantasy can include reviewing the things that turn you on about him. Things that have aroused you before. It can also include some sort of adventure or change that would be erotic to you, like having sex on the kitchen floor for example, or outside in a park (be careful to not get caught).

If you have fun with it, think about it more, and engage your mind while having it I am sure you will find it's much more statisfying.

Finally, sometimes sex is about control. It sounds like you don't take control, because if you did you would tend to control the experience so it pleases you more. Try getting on top of him and riding him, you can stimulate yourself better from the top position and he will be turned on by the tiger in you.

Good luck.

kitten420 · Oct 26, 2008, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by TexasParent

The mind is the body's largest sex organ. You could try thinking about things you would like to do with him; fantasize about different scenario's and try those that you got aroused thinking about.

Also, you need to get in touch with your own body, so masturbate more and fantasize more.

This will make sex much more enjoyable.

---------------------

Fantasy can include reviewing the things that turn you on about him. Things that have aroused you before. It can also include some sort of adventure or change that would be erotic to you, like having sex on the kitchen floor for example, or outside in a park (be careful to not get caught).

If you have fun with it, think about it more, and engage your mind while having it I am sure you will find it's much more statisfying.

Finally, sometimes sex is about control. It sounds like you don't take control, because if you did you would tend to control the experience so it pleases you more. Try getting on top of him and riding him, you can stimulate yourself better from the top position and he will be turned on by the tiger in you.

Good luck.

Hmm very good point this is also very true. Try this as well.

linnealand · Oct 26, 2008, 04:35 PM

Yes, sex will definitely get better. Much, much better. :)

I imagine that very few people brag that the best sex they ever had was when they lost their virginity. It's easy to get distracted by the newness of everything that's going on. As you learn to feel more comfortable with it, the more practice you have, the more you learn about your body, and the more you learn about your partner's body, the better it will become.

Personally, the sex I have now (or have had in the rest of my adult life) is worlds away from my first sexual experiences... which weren't all that bad either. :) it definitely, definitely gets better... in every way.

progressincolor · Dec 4, 2008, 06:18 PM

I'm having the same problem in a way. D:

450donn · Dec 5, 2008, 07:44 AM

Many many women it appears do not get any satisfaction from direct sexual contact. He needs to learn what you like, and you need to learn to direct him. Tell him what feels good and what does not. This way you learn about your body and he learns to please you. Win win situation.

plonak · Dec 5, 2008, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by 450donn

Many many women it appears do not get any satisfaction from direct sexual contact. He needs to learn what you like, and you need to learn to direct him. Tell him what feels good and what does not. This way you learn about your body and he learns to please you. Win win situation.

450Donn:
That is not true.. the statement should be many women don't orgasm through direct vaginal intercourse.. Women very much enjoy the direct vaginal intercourse whether they orgasm.. please make sure you know what you're talking about before you make statements like that..

Emily18:
I think it's because this is new to you and you were probably nervous. Another possibility is that he might be "small" meaning his manhood.. and maybe you couldn't really feel it..

Either way just relax and enjoy the sensations and moments. Like everyone else said it gets better, you'll soon learn what all the hype is about sex!

450donn · Dec 5, 2008, 01:00 PM

[QUOTE=plonak;1411154]450Donn:
That is not true.. the statement should be many women don't orgasm through direct vaginal intercourse.. Women very much enjoy the direct vaginal intercourse whether they orgasm.. please make sure you know what you're talking about before you make statements like that..

I think that is what I said, just in different words.

chrissymarie · Dec 5, 2008, 04:31 PM

I've had this similar problem. It'll be bad for a little while until your body is more comfortable with the idea of sex. Once you start doing it more your body will respond better and you'll be able to tell your boyfriend what you do a do not like. Give it some time.

plonak · Dec 5, 2008, 04:51 PM

[QUOTE=450donn;1411331]

Originally Posted by plonak

450Donn:
That is not true.. the statement should be many women don't orgasim through direct vaginal intercourse.. Women very much enjoy the direct vaginal intercourse whether or not they orgasim.. please make sure you know what you're talking about before you make statements like that..

I think that is what I said, just in different words.

No, you said they don't enjoy it.. big difference there

Choux · Dec 5, 2008, 05:42 PM

E,

You have to learn how to be a sexual being... in your head.

All the joy of sexual relations occurs between your ears... all... why, your brain triggers your orgasms and your multiple orgasms(as you grow in passion and sexuality). :)

It takes a few years to learn and grow in passion-and-effort on your part. Giving up girlish fantasies about men... be real.

It just takes time and effort, girl. :)

Good luck to you in the future.