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    wannatruth's Avatar
    wannatruth Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 23, 2008, 12:56 PM
    Happily married and feeling bad about a close and nice relationship
    I am happily married for the past 3years. Some time back I met my husband's frd who is also married with a kid. We bacame frds and we often chat with each other. We talk about everything in a way helping each other with any problems and also care a lot about each other. Even my husband knew this and also this guy is a nice person who is quite family oriented and very caring specially for the kid. Now sometimes we would talk a bit naughty in terms of physical things which was a bit natural but now he wants to have a physical relation with me and keeps on talking about it. As we are quite open in sharing, I tried to convince him that thinking that way is wrong. Though he gets convinced but says he can't control it. We even tried to stop communicating with each other but it didn't work as we keep on meeting being family frds. Also I am a good frd to his wife and he feels a great respect about my husband (his friend only). Also I am very satisfied with my marriage and have a feeling that he somehow was shattered to some extent due to a lot of problems and may be getting me as a friend at that point in time when he was quite low and sad could be one reason. Now what should I do, please guide..?
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Oct 23, 2008, 01:12 PM
    You say he has great respect for your husband? If he respected your husband, or you, or his wife, or his child, or himself he would not have proposed an adulterous relationship with you. End your friendship now or you are going to end up ruining your marriage.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 23, 2008, 03:22 PM

    This is the part of being a grownup that sucks, huh? You actually HAVE to ignore strong feelings you have/develop for anyone other than your husband. You HAVE to. You promised. You are a person who is controlled by maturity and commitment, right?

    Being married means you've "forsaken all others", according to the marriage vows. This means you not only resist/ignore temptations from other men, you resist/ignore from within your own heart, too.

    You DO IT. You promised.

    Now, you do anything necessary to make that possible. If he won't control himself, you WILL STOP talking to him in private. You WILL. Running into him at family events is fine, that's not the problem, is it?

    The private relationship is over, yesterday. Right?
    chevyiii's Avatar
    chevyiii Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Oct 23, 2008, 03:40 PM
    Comment on JBeaucaire's post
    The answer makes very valid arguments.
    azdesertchick's Avatar
    azdesertchick Posts: 92, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Oct 24, 2008, 11:17 PM
    Not only should you end this "friendship" immediately but you need to be asking yourself why you confided in another man when this type of confiding is only appropriate with your hubby?!

    It's your choice you can never look back later and blame anyone else if you hurt your marriage by continuing this relationship and if you respect his wife you'll do that right now. Honestly you are every woman's worst nightmare, you know the type... says she's your best friend till you walk in one day and find her making out with your hubby.. okay okay it hasn't gone to that level so you say but still that's where it's headed. You had your fun playing with fire (which was not smart to begin with) and now it's time to put it out before you do some damage that can't be repaired. Oh and by the way I don't think you convinced any of us that you two respect each others spouses or the minute this went from casual conversation to intimate topics and flirtiness you both would have ended it there. :eek:
    mishelly3's Avatar
    mishelly3 Posts: 300, Reputation: 16
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Oct 25, 2008, 12:28 AM

    Why would you even ask that question? I don't want to sound like s B$&*% but it never ever should've let it so that far, and you know the answer to the question. Don't talk to him stay away think of your family when you see his house think of everything you WILL lose if you went and did this.. Please make the right decisions
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Oct 25, 2008, 12:00 PM

    You put him in his place, and stop the private talks. DUH!!
    wannatruth's Avatar
    wannatruth Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Oct 26, 2008, 05:57 PM
    Thanks,

    I was feeling so guilty for long and couldn't share it with anybody and found this place where I could vent my feelings and get good and true advice. As a person I am having good self-control as in I know not to cross my limits but I also want to end any sort of relation even of sharing which at times I find hard to do. I am trying my best and hope will be able to come out of this exciting but shameful situation soon. Thanks all for your advice.
    lady_rose's Avatar
    lady_rose Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #9

    Oct 28, 2008, 03:07 PM

    I have to agree with everyone, you need to put a stop at the friendship. LOOK at everyone around that will be hurt! Your husband, his wife (your friend). It will tear up both families.. STOP...

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