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BABYGIRL2711 · Oct 20, 2008, 06:03 PM

I am trying to help my husband gain custody of his child, he and the child's mother were never married. He is wanting to try and get joint custody if not full. B/c the mother's living conditions are unfit (a police officer was at her home due to someone calling and stating her living conditions and she told my husband that the officer called DHS in on her) and some of her parenting seems to be questionable, for instance feeding the baby a hershey's choclate bar at 3 months old... taking her off the bottle and onto a sippy cup at 5 months and allowing her to play in the floor with many small articles that she could swallow.. The mother is also stating that the child has been talking (small words) since she was 4 months old... What can he document or what can he do to help prove that he can better provide a better home for the child to gain part or full custody?

J_9 · Oct 20, 2008, 07:09 PM

It doesn't sound good, but I've seen worse and the children still get to stay. The chocolate bar... well, that's a bad choice and could relate in chocolate allergies... sippy cup at 5 months, two of my children were off the bottle at 6 months. Small toys on the floor, better parenting techniques are needed. Then you have the mother stating that the child has spoken small words since age 4 months. Big deal, we all want our infants to be smart.

You are going to need a ton more ammunition than this. I only see one or two bad choices here. You are going to have to prove unfit living conditions such as cockroaches, rats, black mold, etc... As well as mom having a drug addiction, leaving the baby unattended for hours at a time.

While I don't necessarily agree with the parenting you have outlined above, it is not enough to remove the child from the mother as unfit.

OlivierJD · Oct 21, 2008, 03:04 AM

This child is at a difficult age for impartial testimony, because most observers tend to be allied with one parent or the other -- if not the parents themselves.

The strongest evidence is often a report from a child psychiatrist or child psychologist who interviews both parents and the child multiple times. Unfortunately for most people, that is an expensive proposition. In the Washington, DC Area, for example, such a report costs around $5,000.00.