[brandibaby23]

HI I am posting for a concern with my 3 children? Me and my wife have just separated due to her infidelity I have moved home to Bedford Pa and she still resides in culpepper Virginia. I left and came home and left her with a vehicle for the kids. It has been about 3 weeks to a month now and I have not yet spoken with my children, who I miss dearly. Now My oldest daughter is able to call me but not sure why she hasn't. One question is should I call to speak with my children ? I am afraid she will put a PFA against me as she has done before. Can She do that if I just want to speak with them? And if I am not rude or ignorant with her, which I have no intentions of. We left in OK terms I apologized for the way things turned out and I left. I heard there MAY be a law in Virginia of abandonment if I don't some how get in touch with my kids? Does anyone know if this is true? She hasn't started any court proceedings as of yet that I know of. But that makes me wonder too? I want to have my kids and have it be fair for them. I don't see the need to have a huge UGLY Battle if we don't have to. But I am new to this and I don't know what to do first to not look like a dead beat DAD because I WANT THEM in my life. Please any help would be appreciated.

[stinawords]

Sure you can call them. She may not answer but you can try. Second, don't wait for her to start anything with the court it would be best if you started it just to make sure the ball is rolling. You will need to first file for legal separtation in VA so you will either need to plan a lot of time there or hire a lawyer there to do most of the footwork for you.

[OlivierJD]

I agree with Stina that you should try to speak to your children regularly by telephone.

Take a look at Child Support Obligation Calculator - Virginia Department of Social Services for estimating your child support, and pay what you can -- always by check. This is good for your kids, and shows the court you care.

Ask mom for alternate weekends, alternate holidays, and half of summer; with visitation handoffs at an I-81 rest stop outside Winchester (half way between you).

If you don't get that much visitation or close to it, you need to go to court soon. The longer you wait, the less visitation you may qualify for.

[cdad]

I agree with Stina that you should try to speak to your children regularly by telephone.

Take a look at Child Support Obligation Calculator - Virginia Department of Social Services for estimating your child support, and pay what you can -- always by check. This is good for your kids, and shows the court you care.

Ask mom for alternate weekends, alternate holidays, and half of summer; with visitation handoffs at an I-81 rest stop outside Winchester (half way between you).

If you don't get that much visitation or close to it, you need to go to court soon. The longer you wait, the less visitation you may qualify for.

Im sorry but I have to disagree with some of the advice here. If its possible it would be in OP's best interest to move back near his children so he can apply for maximum custody. Another thing is since OP is the one that moved away on their own accord that shouldn't burden the other party by forcing them to meet 1/2 way. In a lot of situations ( not all ) the party that moves bares the expense unless there is some sort of compromise. Also asking for the whole summer with maybe 1 week left for mom isn't unreasonable. If he moves closer then the arrangement can garner even more time. Maybe since OP seems to be the more stable parent they shouldn't rule out asking for full custody as it seems mom doesn't have good judgement therefore in the long run may not make the best decisions for the children.

[brandibaby23]

Thank you guys for all your answers moving closer just isn't an option at this point. As all of my family is here. But this all was good to know.

[Fr_Chuck]

But yes, you need to start sending at least some level of child support, even if not the amount you will latter have to pay. And of course try to contact, ask for visit and ask for phone calls.