[advicepl3ase]

It's a longg story so here's my best at summarizing it..

My freshman year of high school I met this girl on the basketball team. I became friends with her but something weird happened because our friendship grew.. we had EVERYTHING in common and I mean everything.. I found myself always wanting to be with her and doing anything for her.. during school we'd either be texting, writing each other a note, or she'd come get me out of class and we'd just walk around the school together. I went to every single one of her softball games. Every bus ride for basketball we'd sit together, most of the time she'd lay down and I would hold her and rub her back or play with her hair. We'd would talk on the phone about 4-6 hours every night. Id do anything for her.. anytime we could spend together we would. I spent $400 on her my freshman year which for me is big because I'm kind of stingy with money but for her I always wanted thebest.. that was never an issue. If we held hands or she gave me a hug or a kiss my whole body would start to tingle. And what a cliché but she was the first and last thing I thought about every day. The way she walks, her movements, her eyes, her smile, her perfume, they all drive me crazy.. I told my mom that year I thought I was bi and she freaked out. She took everything away and told me I couldn't be friends with her anymore. My mom is like anti gay so she obviously didn't cope with all that well.. I had to tell her that I was just confused.. I obviously can't tell her the truth it would kill her.. ughh.. I know this all makes me sound gay but I don't know. Its just that she is the only girl I've ever felt anything for no one else... and I would say that maybe it was just a faze but its been 3 years now and I still miss her. I can't get her out of my head.. I still think of her and everything around me is like a constant reminder.. wen someone mentions her name my heart feels like its stopped completely.

What should I do? I can't tell my mom but I don't know if this means I'm truly gay... I mean its only one girl right? I just don't know what to do... I didn't think anything like this would ever happen to me... I've tried to forget but I cant... I stay occupied to keep my mind off it too(I play 4 sports year round, I'm in 8 different clubs at my school, I take all AP courses, I work at a bank) I'm running out of options.. if you have any advice please let me know.. thanks

[demonicevil247]

You never know until you try. Your mother may not approve but you should not let that stop you or you will feel like this forever. You may not be truly gay but how do you know until you go for what you want? It is in my opinion the only way to find out. Good luck whatever you may do. And stay strong. Sit and explain to your mom how you feel. She of all people (I would think) would want you to be unhappy.