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jade74932002 · Oct 17, 2008, 08:15 AM

My boyfriend failed to pay child support to his first child for four years even at the request of his ex wife and my insistence when I became pregnant with his second child. Ex wife sent a letter to his employer with the copy of the order, but a cashier intercepted said letter and gave it to my boyfriend instead of the HR representative. So after my son was born, my boyfriends check was reduced by the original monthly support plus and additional $164 for back child support. While I have no problem with him paying the child support or the back child support and absolutely think he should, we can't afford that much money going out at this time. Is there a way to have the back child support amount modified? Or even all of it at this point?

Please don't tell me all typical things about he should pay, blah, blah, blah. I know and agree with all of that. But I now have a child to think about and I think things should be fair and almost even. But he can't afford to support this family now because of all the money he's required to pay for the first child. He can't afford to pay anything here at home. Nothing. And that's not right or fair to his son.

So, can they modify the support and back support?

ScottGem · Oct 17, 2008, 08:25 AM

What you can request is that the amount be taken for back support be reduced for each paycheck. You can't get the amount owed reduced.

An alternative might be to take out a loan and pay off the back support, if you can get better monthly payment terms.

While I'm sorry for your child, since you were aware of this situation, you should not have had another child until you could afford it. He made this bed by dodging support. Now he must deal with it. It might means taking on a second job.

jade74932002 · Oct 17, 2008, 08:28 AM

The title was supposed to be Indiana not Indian. Sorry about that...

ScottGem · Oct 17, 2008, 08:32 AM

Thanks for the clarification, but it doesn't change the answer.

jade74932002 · Oct 17, 2008, 08:32 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

What you can request is that the amount be taken for back support be reduced for each paycheck. You can't get the amount owed reduced.

An alternative might be to take out a loan and pay off the back support, if you can get better monthly payment terms.

While I'm sorry for your child, since you were aware of this situation, you should not have had another child until you could afford it. He made this bed by dodging support. Now he must deal with it. It might means taking on a second job.

I can support my child with or without him. I just shouldn't have to do it alone because he had another child with someone else. I urged him to take care of the matter and it would have been had a third party not intervened. I didn't get pregnant on purpose and I take offense that someone who doesn't know me would insinuate so. Thanks for the part of your reply that was helpful.

ScottGem · Oct 17, 2008, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by jade74932002

I can support my child with or without him. I just shouldn't have to do it alone because he had another child with someone else. I urged him to take care of the matter and it would have been had a third party not intervened. I didn't get pregnant on purpose and I take offense that someone who doesn't know me would insinuate so. Thanks for the part of your reply that was helpful.

Sorry, but I have to take exception to several points here. My main problem is that you seem to not want to attribute responsibility where it belongs.

First, even though a clerk made the mistake of giving the garnishment letter to your boyfriend, that doesn't mean he shouldn't have turned it right over to HR. It was HIS responsibility to do so. But he made a conscious decision not to so he wouldn't have support payments taken out. He then ignored your pleas to take care of the matter. So the lion's share of the blame for getting into this mess is his.

Second, you may not have planned to get pregnant, but you consciously engaged in sex with your boyfriend. Since no form of birth control is 100%, you consciously took the risk of getting pregnant.

jade74932002 · Oct 17, 2008, 08:55 AM

You can take exception to anything you want. You don't know me or what I think. And apparently don't read thoroughly. I said he should pay the support. I'm not shirking his responsibility in any way or onto anyone else. He failed to do what was required of him as a man and a father. My only point in reference to the cashier was that she failed in her responsibility as an employee. It's a federal offense to tamper with the delivery of mail. My boyfriend is just as guilty. But no matter what spin you put on it, I'm still here with a child and trying to take care of that child in the best way that I can. Don't attack me for looking out for my son's best interests. What's fair is fair. I encouraged him to take care of the matter. I never once said in any post he shouldn't pay, he's not responsible. I said he should pay the ordered support and should have paid in the years that he didn't. My only problem was the additional $. I didn't ask for an opinion on anything else, since I didn't ask anything else.

ScottGem · Oct 17, 2008, 10:33 AM

Jade,

I'm afraid you are the one not reading thoroughly. I understand that you urged him to pay and I said that. I quote; "He then ignored your pleas to take care of the matter." But you were the one who said; "it would have been had a third party not intervened." That's shiifting the blame to the clerk.

You also apparently don't understand how sites like this one works. When you post a question, it often opens up tangental comments. Once you post, you open yourself up to such comments. You can ignore them, you can disagree with them. You can argue against them, but you can't dictate what part of your post people respond to.

Believe me I understand and sympathize with your situation. I tried to help by giving you suggestions on options to provide support for your child. But you also have to deal with the fact on where responsibility for the situation you find yourself in lies. It does not lie with the clerk who may have thought he was doing a friend a favor. It doesn't lie in the accident of conceiving. It lies with conscious decisions on the part of your boyfriend and yourself to engage is risky behaviors.

stinawords · Oct 17, 2008, 10:35 AM

No one is attacking you they he is simply pointing out that by having sex you opened yourself up to the possibility of getting pregnant and that is how the court sees it too that you had sex with a man that already owed support. It's kind of like a loan company, if you default on one loan the next company won't give you any you just chose to give. Also as scott pointed out the only amount that might be reduced is the amount of arrears taken out each week but many states put interest on unpaid arrears so even if it is reduced he may end up paying more in the long run. I also agree that if he can take out a personal loan to get the arrears paid off he, depending on how much is owed, might get better payment terms from the bank.

cdad · Oct 17, 2008, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

What you can request is that the amount be taken for back support be reduced for each paycheck. You can't get the amount owed reduced.

An alternative might be to take out a loan and pay off the back support, if you can get better monthly payment terms.

While I'm sorry for your child, since you were aware of this situation, you should not have had another child until you could afford it. He made this bed by dodging support. Now he must deal with it. It might means taking on a second job.

Part of this answer I can't agree with. The part about getting a second job. That job would not be immune to child support calculation because most states use a tax return as a reference point in figuring how much child support can be. They also treat overtime pay in the same way. So in the end you could end up paying more in support and still not have your head above water. It would work out for many if they could get a second job and it be immune from child support so they can make up some of the difference but in reality what you make they want to take by force if need be.

stinawords · Oct 17, 2008, 06:54 PM

In Indiana however, the mother would have to request a review for an increased amount of support because there is no state law requireing him to report income increases reviews are done by request only. And I would guess that he is already scheduled to be in court every couple months (because that's what happens here if you get too far into arrears) but he wouldn't be orderd to pay more as long as he is current they will just tell him good job see you in a few months until all the arrears are paid off then he wouldn't be reqirered to go to court anymore. So, if he had to take on a second job even a part time job to make ends meet it would be reasonable and Indiana's law also means that he would have to make 20% more (instead of lots of states 15%) for her to even be able to ask for a modification.

cdad · Oct 17, 2008, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by stinawords

In Indiana however, the mother would have to request a review for an increased amount of support because there is no state law requireing him to report income increases reviews are done by request only. And I would guess that he is already scheduled to be in court every couple months (because that's what happens here if you get too far into arrears) but he wouldn't be orderd to pay more as long as he is current they will just tell him good job see you in a few months until all the arrears are paid off then he wouldn't be reqirered to go to court anymore. So, if he had to take on a second job even a part time job to make ends meet it would be reasonable and Indiana's law also means that he would have to make 20% more (instead of lots of states 15%) for her to even be able to ask for a modification.

Its different in every state. In Cali reviews can happen every 2 years or if circumstances change. And if someone is dealing with a vendictive ex then as soon as they find out about another job and more money its go for broke time with the courts on their side.