[Sheryl Thompson]

I am constantly thinking about a man whom I met in the beginning of this year. I met him last month and we could not spent much time together. Now, I am all the time thinking of him and this is affecting my work and family life.

My husband loves me very much and I should be damned for doing this to him. I do not think, I will ever meet this man again, but I keep missing him constantly. He on the other side is quite cool about it. If I write to him, then only he replies. It seems, he is taking it quite simply (which should be the case).

How shall I come out of his spell. I also do not want to portray myself as love lorn woman.

[JBeaucaire]

You don't want to portray yourself as love lorn to whom? Your husband? The guy you want to become an unfaithful cheater homewrecker with? That guy?

Honey, you are ALWAYS going to have random attractions for people. Getting married didn't give you control of that, you never had control of that. Your "love pangs" will still absolutely popup from time to time, and sometimes pretty dang strong.

So what? You KNOW you're going to stop feeding this dragon, right? You KNOW you aren't going to email him anymore or dangerously court these thoughts. You promised your husband you would ignore feelings for other men. So ignore them.

Yeah, it's hard. So what?

Yeah, it's really hard. So what?

People come on here asking about "true love" all the time. Frequently in conjunction for some person they're pining after other than their spouse. My god, how ridiculous that is.

Let me tell you what "true love" isn't. It's not fate. It's not some "road not taken" love affair guy you KNOW is better for you than the man you swore before the universe to cleave to. True love isn't something that comes to you at all.

True love is something you give, something you accomplish, something you provide to the man who has bared himself to the universe in your name, too.

True love is looking temptation in the eye and saying, "Yes, you're very pretty. Now leave me and my man alone, get thee gone!"

True love is knowing YOU can "forsake all others" after all, including yourself, perhaps the most important forsaking of all. Forsaking your own stupid need to feed the random dragon of attraction to other men, thereby never risking your family's lives.

Forsake your need to pursue the how's and the whys of this guy altogether. Then, forsake your need when the next guy/attraction happens. It's never going to stop.

So what? You've already staked your claim for love with your husband, now feed THAT puppy, relentlessly, unerringly. Shoo the dragon(s) away.

You promised. Now be that girl. Give your husband true love by doing this, over and over forever.

[JBeaucaire]

Sheryl Thompson agrees: I wish I would have asked for help from you much earlier. Reading this reply has made me realise my faults. You have answered to all my questions and also to some unasked questions also.

That's why we're here. We want happy, productive, forward-thinking, sacrificial relationships to win. We want you to win.

You are so fortunate to have the man you do. If you look around you at friends whose lives are falling apart, or marriages, or just stories you hear, you will ALWAYS find selfish sexual urges playing a huge part in it. There's just no joy in life pursuing "urges" with yourself at the center of it.

That's one of the greatest benefits of marriage. If you keep your marriage on a pedestal, you make selfless decisions. Doing for someone else out of commitment and strength of will, that's the road to happiness. Just become a fan of your husband. Spend your extra energies cheerleading HIM.

So many people "get what they want" and throw their entire lives into the toilet in the process. But we can already see, you're not going to do that, are you?

After I wrote the message to you, I felt inspired, so I went and made my wife a desert I know she likes. She was very surprised and the smile/hug I got is better reward than any fantasy girl will ever give.

Now, go make some pudding for that man.