[NallaNeedsYou]

Many Many posts are about things that are going wrong in relationships and many of those are due people having lust rather than love. They fall in 'love' with someone then find that they are in love with someone else. People write from experience about relationships and why they went wrong, why don't we try and warn young people about all the things that go wrong in relationships so that they can avoid making the same mistakes. Even though every account is different I think it normally comes down to what the people in the relationship are actually looking for. Younger people are finding this problem so hard because they are only being helped by people their own age who are going for the same jerks or girls who are just interested in fit guys. That's where I think the problem is and I was wondering if anyone else has any views on the matter. Thanks

[amanda-kym]

I think when people are young they wouldn't listen to what is warned. I know when I was younger I felt that I knew best and everyone else was wrong. It wasn't until I had a few bad relationships that I started to notice the pattern

[simoneaugie]

We could talk about it. Some may learn from reading about immature relationships. But, there is no substitute for life experience, especially when hormones and are interfering with mental processes.

[SimpleguyJoe]

Well it's true that my life experience is lacking when it comes to relationships but I guess some people just have to go through some hit and miss until they realize they are not always right.

Do you guys really thing that us young people don't take the advice seriously? I really took a lot of the advice I got here seriously. I can try to direct my pretty much lost relationship on my own accord. Or ask the experts who have been there over and over again. I guess it justs takes a degree of maturity to realize that your thought process is just boned and you will be better off listening to the collective experience of afew really helpful people

But to get to the point of the post I think it would be very helpful for a lot of the younger people to read about what is turning relationships sour. Knowledge is really the only defence you have when your going into something that you have little to no experience in.

[NallaNeedsYou]

Joe, that's what I thought but I know that if people don't take the advice seriously then it is their own downfall. I'm only 14 but I see people around me who are heading straight for what so many people go through. One girl in my year goes round punching walls and kicking things because she's messed up with a fit jerk! Its blunt but she isn't going to change till she actually grows up enough to understand that most of the people are just trying to get as much attention as they can and when they lose interest they find someone else. They don't think about people's feelings and I can't bear to watch all my friends go through it all. It's a difficult topic and I know I seem very young to be worrying about meaningful relationships but I don't feel that people should make the same mistakes as the people before them.

[SimpleguyJoe]

And there lies the key to self understanding, and self control. Nobody wants to see their friends going though tuff times but it really is a necessary evil to make yourself a more self reliant person. It's very hard to learn life experiences from just word of mouth without going through the process themselves, people learn almost nothing.

You can give someone as much information as they want but that does not mean they will listen to it even if the odds are stacked 1000:1.

I really think that this section of the site Relationships / Dating is more for the people that have already come to understand that their relationship is over ( if it's a break up topic ) and are going though it and need help. The people who come here asking for sure ways to fix their life in 2 easy steps, seldom ever take the advice and are then back afew days later asking what the hell went wrong.

[High Max]

There needs to be some sort of sticky on common mistakes men make to cause their relationships to go sour, as well as a guide for women to maintain and give themselves the best chance at holding onto a guy. I think that people can then read those topics and understand the knowledge, so they know everything they should know for the future, and hopefully not have to come back here again with a broken heart.

[JBeaucaire]

With youth also comes indestructibility. Nobody knows as much and is as impervious as a teenager. Love, Sex, Relationship, Money, Goals... they know it all.

Sometimes I wish I was younger again just so I could know everything again. The older you get, the wiser you get, and with wisdom comes the realization that you don't know everything.

In short, youth are simply ill-equipped to even seriously consider the life experiences of others. Other people, especially "old people", simply CAN'T understand the pure truths the youth is experiencing... right? Doesn't this sound familiar? Didn't we ALL think this way?

As an adult, I know not to give advice that hasn't been specifically requested. My life experience is only an aid to people who have already FINALLY stumbled themselves and their eyes are open to the idea they aren't indestructible.

Some people reach that stage in the late teens, some in their late 20s, some... well, never.

All we can do is care, tend to our issues, and wait for them to come asking. THEN we can help.

[TrueFaith]

Part of being young

You get the feeling that. Yeah it will never happen to me and this girl is different we are not like the rest.

Sadly we all fall into the same trap!

I love my mistakes they have made me what I am today, I am proud to have them

Just think how much stronger you become from everything that happens.

[NallaNeedsYou]

Thanks for your help and I'm glad you don't push my question aside because I'm young. What you have said has helped but I think I'm grasping the concept its just how I'm supposed to help other people? Do I just prevent suffereing on myself and the woman I fall in love with or can I help others in other ways?

[TrueFaith]

There is no real guide book everyone gets hurt and a relationship is a lot of work to keep alive. It can be real easy at times or it can be heard

It does not matter how much you know or how little you know.
You can not control who you fall in love with

But you can control how you act.

Remember that. And one more thing you are going to get hurt because if it was just you. It would be very easy not to get hurt,
But sadly we deal with other people and if we put our emotions in there hands! We will get hurt.

It's a 2 way bridge if one falls. The other falls as well
There is no way 1 person can keep a relationship alive.

You have to find the right person first, which is in all part of the getting hurt stage. Its only when our ideals are broken we feel the most pain

[JBeaucaire]

You help others by making the most sensible and clear headed choices in your own life. You inspire by example.