[eltibs]

Here it is:

FIrst off I would like to say I have been happily married for over two years, but I am in graduate school and I have noticed the longer I am in school the more it seems we grow apart. Things are good, but it seems like we're both forcing it anymore. Then a few nights ago I had a dream, a vivid dream, about my ex girlfriend, whom I had the hardest time getting over until I met my wife. Ever since this dream I cannot get my ex-girlfriend out of my head. My Wife and I have been together for nearly four years (dating and marriage) and my ex and I broke up FIVE YEARS AGO!

What the hell is going on here? My ex and I had a messy break-up, bto say the least and I am pretty sure she doesn't feel for me, but I haven't talked to her in like 3 years. She has moved on, dating somebody that I went to school with and was in my fraternity nonetheless.

Is this kind of relapse normal? I feel guilty for even feeling this way. My wife is perfect and ever since I had this dream it is like I am falling out of love with her. It's not like I want to go chase my ex either, I mean there is a reason we broke up and relationships are like milk.. . Once they go bad there is no saving it.

[talaniman]

I just woke up and I can't stop thinking about my ex

Don'tcha hate it when that happens???

Been married more than thirty years, and every now and then my exes come back to haunt me, in my dreams and thoughts!!!

The kicker is, they still look young and beautiful, and smell fabulous

Why can't they leave me alone????

[TrueFaith]

LoL true this just happens. You can be in the best place of your life and bam they pop in there. With no warning.

It means nothing try not to think too much about it

Remember 3 years can do a lot to a person :)

[SimpleguyJoe]

Don't take this advice until maybe an expert comes and corrects me for possibly being very wrong. Maybe talk to your wife about it? Have her be extra kind or special in bed for a week. But unless you have a very understanding wife you might just want to keep it to yourself. If your finances are OK go on a nice trip for the weekend and make sure to fill the time with lots of romantic things.

Chances are you will stop thinking the way you are if you just kind of put it on the back burner in your mind and spend a lot of time trying to correct what's wrong in your current relationship. Fix your current relationship and you might notice why the hell would you want to go back anyway? Think you might just be going through some "Oh what if we stayed together I think the grass might be greener" when chances are in reality that grass is long past dead.

Make a list of all the things you love about your wife and compare it with a list of all the faults your old Ex had and maybe you will notice the things you truly care about are right in front of you.

[JBeaucaire]

You need to STOP putting weight behind the memories. Remembering exes is perfectly normal. But spending this much time thinking about it adds fuel to a dangerous old fire.

No real person, your wife included, can stand up against a fantasy you actively pursue. Even memories of BAD old girlfriends can appear gleaming and attractive in the mind of the daydreamer.

Your life deserves what it really is. This means you nod your head at passing thoughts and memories, you don't pay attention to them. You don't stare at them. You don't gape. You don't wonder at all what it might mean. It means nothing, except you have a normal imagination.

Meanwhile, real life is happening and deserves all the attention, staring and gaping you can muster.

[talaniman]

Even memories of bad old girlfriends can appear gleaming and attractive in the mind of the daydreamer.

Yep!!