[Grayfox]

Hi, its been a while since I've been on this site. It is simultaneously difficult yet nice to be back. Tonight I broke up with the second girlfriend I've had in my life. This as well as the first relationship has lasted for 2 years roughly. I did it in a very direct and honest way, yet it was extremely difficult for me, I've tried before and never been able to comitt. Tonight was different, there was something inside me that made me be consistent. This girl when I met her was fairly flirty and insecure. When we started dating she became completely different and clung to me in a way that was very deep. We had a relationship that was very honest and probably too active. Always together, we generally participated in everything imaginable as a couple, yet I was never truly in love with her and I knew it. There were a lot of qualities I liked about her, and she cares about me in a way that I can only describe as being similar to motherly. Getting meaningful presents rather than stupid ones, and acting rather than talking. I grew attached all over again, even though I had wanted not to. Now we are in college together, my 2nd year, her 1st. Freakishly enough, she lives on my floor in my building. She is unable to cope with me talking to other girls even as friends, and I am uncapable of inverse as well as allowing myself to care about her feelings about girls. I realize that, and it bothers me. My only understanding is that I like her as a person, but I do not truly care about her in a way that is fair, and there is a dark side to her that I do not understand, sarcastic and angry. Recently I've found myself unable to decide whether I care about her or not. I am attracted to her, I think she is very nice, but there are times where I just can't deal with her, and I don't find myself wanting to trust her. As of tonight, I decided based on her reaction to me and a few guys hanging out with another girl on the floor, that this had to stop. I realize the obvious consequences of the situation on my floor. I really just need someone to help me make sense of the situation and what my feelings are based on what I've said. I don't know what to do, but I do know that I don't want to marry this girl, based on her family, her personality, and her general outlook towards life. Also, I'm fairly religious and although she goes to church with me, I can't see her honestly feeling what I feel. I wonder sometimes whether she even has individuality. She's even the type of person to try to do something really nice for me in the attempt that she might be able to get back together with me, and it breaks my heart. Yet, I know I need to be consistent. Ive been through a similar situation, but never had to be the one to break it off. If anyone has any words for me, please share your opinions, honesty is all I want. Thank you.

[talaniman]

Despite the attraction, it wasn't enough to keep you there, so you did the right thing by ending it. Most people would have stayed, and hoped for the best, but you have a chance to keep moving ahead.

You seem to know what you want so go for it!