[Allforthebroken]

I'm so close to having sex with my boyfriend... I know we are young, but it feels right, I know there are consequences, but I really don't care, I want to do this, and I know I am ready, I know everyone will argue against me, but I feel so right about this.
We have places and times planned, but nothing will follow through unless I say so...
What should I know about sex if our plans follow through, or something just seems to happen?

[follow please]

I know I know I know, no one wants to hear the age thing. But honestly please don't do it unless you are 16 or older (this seems to me like a good standard). Sex is definitely a wonderful thing, and great to experience. I know some people will argue with me, but the only way to be TRULY happy with your first time is to wait till marriage which most people cannot do (myself included). So I'm telling you, there is a high chance you won't end up with the person you lose your virginity to. I say that you go through with it, keeping in mind you feel strongly. Make absolute sure, that you two are being safe, ALWAYS use a condom, and for later if you go a second round, change the condom!! I hope you are aware of the utter disaster of disease and pregnancy. I lost my virginity to the girl I am currently with and I hope to god every day that I don't get her pregnant, even though we use condoms AND she's on birth control (good idea, extremely good idea). But for me, if I get a girl pregnant, it COMPLETELY screws up their lives, they won't go to college or university, all their money goes to the kid, the two of you will start to fight (he might not be so brave, and abandone you, seeings as it takes years to know someone completely). Just think long and hard please girl, think long and hard. Don't make any mistakes OK? The pull out method is just ridiculous. I hope I helped you, have fun, live love and learn.

Follow Please.

[ylaira]

Sounds like you won't listen to whatever people will say here, anyway...

Just make sure you have a STABLE job to raise a kid, be prepared for 2 hours sleep a day for more than a year and not be able to hang out with old friend because there's a baby.

[ISneezeFunny]

"I know there are consequences, but I really don't care."

That sounds like the young immature mind at work. This means you're not ready. If you WERE ready, you'd say, "I know there are consequences, and I will take every precaution possible to avoid the consequences, and even if those precautions fail, I am ready to handle the responsibility afterward."

The whole, "yeah, it could end up wrong, but I don't care, I'm doing it anyway" is the attitude that many drunk drivers and pregnant 13 year olds have.

Reassess your attitude towards actually being pregnant, having a child, raising a child, and potentially changing your entire future plans, all over one or two minutes of sex.

[Allforthebroken]

You, well IF something like me getting pregnant happens I wouldn't keep it as my own, I would give it up for adoption

[follow please]

Also. You don't want to hear this either, BUT, I've witnessed MANY of my friends, guys and girls, have sex and totally ruin their relationships. In fact I've had a friend who's dabbling in sex lead her to be very promiscuous and lose many many friends. This sex too early can ruin the relationship between you and this boy... there is much at stake OK. I hope you don't take these posts lightly because many people experience it, you may be stubborn, but if any of this hits home at all keep it in the foreground. Have fun without your genitals for a while... oral sex is also a great thing. And you'd be surprised what fingers can do, for both of you.

[ISneezeFunny]

OK, I'm glad you have a plan. Have you... thought about the 9 months that you'll actually HAVE a child inside you? Doctor's visits left and right, morning sickness, walking around school with a bump on your stomach, actually feeling sick all the time, not to mention... actually going THROUGH childbirth?

... don't toss away, "oh, I'll have a kid and if I can't take care of it, I'll give it up for adoption."

It's a HUMAN BEING, not a dog.

I suggest you watch a live childbirth and actually witness what happens in the delivery room.

You may not think that having a kid is "that big of a deal"... heck, you might not even eat lunch that day.

[Alty]

I won't sugar coat it, sex=babies, so if you are going to have sex then be prepared to have a baby. No form of birth control is 100% effective and many people I know and people on this site, got pregnant using 3 different forms of birth control. So, if you aren't ready to be a mom then don't have sex.

If you are going to do it anyway then please, please, please. Birth control pill, get on it now, be on it for at least one month before having sex, and take it regularly, don't miss a pill, ever. Also use a condom, even though you're on the pill. Two forms of BC are better than one.

Realize that your first time probably won't be that great, it will probably hurt, you might bleed, you'll be sore and uncomfortable for a few days afterwards.

Even with a condom you can still get an STD. Condoms need to be used correctly in order to help prevent STD's (notice I said help prevent, not prevent). Read up on condom use, how to use it correctly, how to take it off correctly, etc. etc. etc.

Bottom line, there are very real consequences when having sex. Read the pregnancy and motherhood threads, so many teens coming here telling us they're pregnant or think they might be, this could be you, so be sure you're okay with that if it happens.

Why are you in such a rush? If you're really in love then you should be able to wait.

[Allforthebroken]

You... I'm just a young kid and I'm going to make mistakes... things like that get me thinking all the time, just the idea of getting pregnant makes me nervous...
And I can be quite stupid most of the time because I never seem to care what life threatening thing might happen to me, I'm actually slightly suicidal, which gets me to think those things...

[follow please]

All right, it is obvious you are not ready for sex if you've that mentality about a child. You can't just throw babies at people little lady, if this is what this world has taught you then you need a personal revolution. A baby is full time commitment, which involves extreme pain mentally and physically, and ruins your body keeping in mind stretching, perhaps a c section, what if the baby dies during birth? What if you get emotionally attached and end up keeping it, and having to dropEVERYTHING in your young un developed life? What happens when that kid realizes that its mother was in irresponsible 13 year old who ed up and just threw him or her away because they were a mistake? THINK THINK THINK

L I V E LOOOVE AND L E A R N

[Alty]

ya, well IF something like me getting pregnant happens i wouldnt keep it as my own, i would give it up for adoption

Wow, wow, wow. Do your really think it's that easy to give away a child that you created, carried inside of you for 9 months, gave birth to? Really?

Do you have a pet? If so, give it away, go ahead, should be a piece of cake right?

It's not easy to give away a child, so you might want to talk to someone who's done that, let them tell you how it feels, how you will never forget, there will always be a piece of you missing.

To say that you'll just give it up, without thinking it through, well honey, that shows me that you are not ready to have sex.

How old are you anyway?

[ylaira]

Ive had friends who got pregnant so early and now feel envious with me. Why? Im free! No obligations, no curfew, in a nutshell, I enjoyed my youth, unlike them who can't even buy stuff for themselves and now looks 20 years older!

A moment mistake will ruin your entire life. One quality of a matured person is understanding the virtue of patience and resistance to temptation. Think again..

[Allforthebroken]

Well my aunt wants another baby so itd still be mine, but I would have help supporting it so to speak...

[Alty]

ya... im just a young kid and im gonna make mistakes... things like that get me thinking all the time, just the idea of getting pregnant makes me nervous...
and i can be quite stupid most of the time because i never seem to care what life threatening thing might happen to me, im actually slightly suicidal, which gets me to think those things...

I suggest therapy asap. You're suicidal, treat the idea of getting pregnant like it's an inconvienience, not a life changing event, don't care what happens to you.

Please, get professional help, you are not ready to have sex if you don't give a damn about the consequences.

[Allforthebroken]

I have been to therapy and hospitals etc. they just made things much much worse...
And my BF is the one who "keeps me happy" so to speak

[follow please]

Sorry little girl, but if you continue with this attitude, your boyfriend is going to be the one to screw your life over and drive you to these suicidal ends. Life is not worth giving up (haha see the pun in that) please don't. Make the world a better place, find an optimistic point of view girl, be happy and enjoy life... dont disagree with all these people. It may sound very self centred and what not but I'm sure most of us know WAY more about this than you do, this advice isn't just words were throwing at you, they are words with spikes meant to attach to you, to dig into you, to TELL you something. This site is for help to be heard not refused!

[ylaira]

More than a toy, child knows whats' missing, not normal, whats' wrong and not while growing up.I hope your child wouldn't curse you when because he was brought in this world out of raging libido.

[Alty]

Plain and simple, you're just not mentally healthy enough to make this decision. You need to find out what's going on with you, get the help you need, keep going to different doctors until they figure out what's going on.

You are not ready for sex because you don't care about the consequences. You treat the idea of getting pregnant like you're smacking a fly that landed on your nose. You simply aren't ready.

I don't think you'll take birth control seriously because you yourself admitted that you don't care what happens to you. This is all a big joke to you. Aw, if I get pregnant I'll give the baby to my Aunt, no biggie, whatever, not going to change my life. That's not a good way to think about something that will change your life forever, no matter what you do or how you feel right now.

I speak from experience. No, I never had to give up a child, I got lucky. Sex was a big joke to me, and I didn't care at all about myself or any of the guys I slept with. Because of events that happened in my past I wanted to punish myself, and I did by being promiscuous. I did get an STD, thankfully it was easily cleared up, gone, done. I got lucky, I met a great guy, married him and now my life is great. You might not be so lucky. Don't start down this path. Figure out what's going on with you first.

[Allforthebroken]

You... follow please I think so far you've been the most helpful... thank you again, this really changed my outlook on a lot of things...

[Allforthebroken]

Altenweg, thanks for the advice, ill take everything into reasonable perspective before thinking recklessly...