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seth natusch · Sep 28, 2008, 08:16 AM

Child's mom insists that I always drop off check. She plays no part in picking it up and sometimes won't ansewer the phone just to make payment so called late. She even filled with the court recently because I was served once again. She has support cases in two towns against me. Who knows ntrhe rules because as a dad I no answers except make your payments.

JudyKayTee · Sep 28, 2008, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by seth natusch

childs mom insists that i always drop off check. she plays no part in picking it up and sometimes wont ansewer the phone just to make payment so called late. she even filled with the court recently because i was served once again. she has support cases in two towns against me. who knows ntrhe rules because as a dad i no answers except make your payments.

She is not responsible for picking the check up from you.

In NYS if it has to be in her hands on a certain date you would have to either hand deliver it to her on or before that date OR mail it in time for her to receive it on or before that date. If it's late, you're in contempt. She doesn't have to take your phone calls.

I can't imagine it's different in another State.

Spare yourself the aggravation and mail it to her. Get a receipt if you need to prove you mailed it early enough for her to get it on the appropriate date.

xoxaprilwine · Sep 28, 2008, 09:23 AM

No, nor Canada either... this is your responsibility. She can't deny you from visitation rights (breach) but she does not have to answer the phone or pick up the cheque. In any regard but you are breaching the order if you are not making payments in a "reasonable" period. If you have issues with it, maybe get the Courts to arrange a system of automatic payment or another available remedy presented. Otherwise... always keep proof of payment regarding cheques and receipt method of delivery for each one... in case any dispute arises in the future. These payments aren't just about some annoying "babies mama" but the mother of your child and your child's well being and you do have rights as the biological father... your in the US so I advise talking to counsel with regards to your rights.

JudyKayTee · Sep 28, 2008, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by xoxaprilwine

No, nor Canada either...this is your responsibility. She can't deny you from visitation rights (breach) but she does not have to answer the phone or pick up the cheque. In any regard but you are breaching the order if you are not making payments in a "reasonable" period of time. If you have issues with it, maybe get the Courts to arrange a system of automatic payment or another available remedy presented. Otherwise...always keep proof of payment regarding cheques and receipt method of delivery for each one...in case any dispute arises in the future. These payments aren't just about some annoying "babies mama" but the mother of your child and your child's well being and you do have rights as the biological father...your in the US so I advise talking to counsel with regards to your rights.

In the US it is not a good idea to get the Courts involved in payments unless there is no other way - the Courts are backlogged and reluctant to do so, although if OP's wife is taking him back to Court it is possible this will be Court ordered.

As I said - mail the payment in time with proof of mailing. Don't have contact you aren't required to have and make it easier on yourself.

xoxaprilwine · Sep 28, 2008, 10:00 AM

The US system is much different then in Canada but I can see why you wouldn't want the Courts involved... nor would they want to be involved... too much paperwork and a waste of time. But its always good to seek out all your options... what does not work for me might work for someone else and visa versa.

this8384 · Sep 29, 2008, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by seth natusch

childs mom insists that i always drop off check. she plays no part in picking it up and sometimes wont ansewer the phone just to make payment so called late. she even filled with the court recently because i was served once again. she has support cases in two towns against me. who knows ntrhe rules because as a dad i no answers except make your payments.

Along with the advice already given to you, I would also double-check the laws in your state.(check this one out, Judy! *lol*) In Wisconsin, if you personally give your child's parent a check, it doesn't count as child support. The money needs to go through the Child Support Agency. So if my husband were to write his ex-wife a check for $500 and even put "child support" in the memo, it doesn't count as child support; it's just money that he gave her and she's allowed to keep asking for it.

ScottGem · Sep 29, 2008, 08:21 AM

My suggestion is to check with your local Family services agancy and see if you can make payments through them.

Another suggestion is to setup a joint account that the mom can access and electronically transfer money into that account on a scheduled basis.

JudyKayTee · Sep 29, 2008, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by this8384

Along with the advice already given to you, I would also double-check the laws in your state.(check this one out, Judy! *lol*) In Wisconsin, if you personally give your child's parent a check, it doesn't count as child support. The money needs to go through the Child Support Agency. So if my husband were to write his ex-wife a check for $500 and even put "child support" in the memo, it doesn't count as child support; it's just money that he gave her and she's allowed to keep asking for it.

ALL child support has to go through the Courts in Wisconsin - ? Yikes!

In NYS - and I thought every other State (wrong!) - if you don't meet your obligations, then you have to pay through an agency. Otherwise, you're on your own.

I would think Wisconsin has a massive department handling child support! The $500 "child support" check that ends up being a gift is a very interesting legal concept. Again - yikes!

stinawords · Sep 29, 2008, 09:15 AM

Indiana is basically like that as well which is why there is an annual fee paid to the court for their services lol. I do know of a couple people that do it just from one person to the other but it isn't ordered.

this8384 · Sep 29, 2008, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

ALL child support has to go through the Courts in Wisconsin - ? Yikes!

In NYS - and I thought every other State (wrong!) - if you don't meet your obligations, then you have to pay through an agency. Otherwise, you're on your own.

I would think Wisconsin has a massive department handling child support! The $500 "child support" check that ends up being a gift is a very interesting legal concept. Again - yikes!

Yes ma'am! Tell me about it; I love this state but hate the government here. You actually get a letter from the CSA stating "All support must go through our office. Any payments made directly to the other parent will not be viewed as child support." That way, the CSA gets to collect their annual $100 "receipt & disbursement fee," which my husband is required to pay, by the way. The ex-wife gets the support but he has to shell out $100 a year for the next 12 years just so she can get paid.