[Overthehills23]

Ok, I think I might write a book, but bear with me, I'll get to the question.

I started seeing a woman who I work with a few years ago, who just happened to be in an unhappy marriage, with a child. She is a very loving person who isn't a backstabber or a two-timer (even though that's what she's basically doing). We started seeing each other regurlarly, making love passionately. I don't know how bad she feels about it because her husband did the same thing to her and she took him back.

Anyway, we kind of parted ways later on because she wanted to give her marriage a try one last time. Not bitterly, really, just understandingly. It didn't work out for them. Now she's separating from him and moving back home to be with her family and child, which is good, and I'm all for it. She needs to be with herself for a while.

Well, ever since we parted we still talk and are still good friends, and occasionally (very much so), we slip on the friendship and have sex. It happens so rarely that it's not a big deal.

What I've been looking for in other women I found in this woman who wasn't fully available to me. When she looks at me, I can see and feel the love in her eyes even though she doesn't say it. We've talked it over and we both came to the conclusion that someday we might try to reconnect. Whether that happens or not, who knows, we'll see.

My question is, is it healthy, reasonable or advisable to wait for a woman who's heart is healing? I really love this woman and I do care about her well-being, which is why I'm giving her the time she needs instead saying "oh, she's free, now it's my turn". I know that won't work and it would be a doomed relationship. If I really care about her and love her as much as I do, should I wait for her or should I just let her go and move on? I know there are no right and wrong answers, but when you go through something like this you can't exactly talk about it with all your friends and family and ask their advice. So I'll ask all of you strangers what you and what you'd do in that situation. Fair? :) I look forward to your answers, positive or negative. Thank you for your time and giving me a place to vent.

[Choux]

You sound like a really great guy to me. I wonder why you don't have great self-confidence... Perhaps, confidence hasn't sunk in yet... you are not the same guy you were a few years ago; you are more mature, more experienced and so... :)

It is time for you to move on now, a confident man who has had some good life experience under his belt and still has a good heart and mind. :)

You are too good to be a default guy for a confused girl. If you two get together later in life, let it be from a position of more life experience with women.

Best wishes, :)

[Overthehills23]

Thank you Choux for all of your kind comments. However, she is not confused. She knows exactly what she wants, and I'm not in that picture per se. She just wants to be happy. I guess I should have made that a little more clear. It's not a love triangle or anything, it's just a woman who's been in an unhappy marriage for a long time and wants to get out of it. I don't blame her. She's a good woman and she deserves her happiness. I just happened to come along and, in my own way, I guess I sort of woke her up to that a bit more. I have no dissillusions about the whole deal, which I think keeps me grounded in reality instead of fantasy land, if you know what I mean. :) As far as life experience, there were women before her, but she was the first who really "clicked" for me. I almost married a couple of women in the past, but didn't see a future with them. Sounds a bit on the corny side I guess, but that's just how I feel about it. Thank you for understanding. :)