[ziggyelephant]

It's a little uncomfortable for me to ask this, but I figured asking people that don't know who I am might be easier for me. I'm about to be 20 in a couple of months and just recently lost my virginity. I am a very shy girl. Well I finally lost it! I mean I have done some sexual things, but nothing to benefit me. While we were having sex, well the WHOLE time he kept slipping out of me, I was on top straddling him the whole time, but he kept slipping out! I felt it when he first inserted, but that was the only feeling that I had. After he was in I couldn't tell if he was in or if he slipped out! I felt NOTHING! No pain, no sensation, honestly I got more of a sensation when he slipped out and he hit my clitoris. I don't think that my vagina was to loose because he commented on the tightness of it, so I think that's not a reason for him to keep slipping out. But he does have a smaller penis, well out of all the one I have seen. But the question I'm asking is if that's normal? Your first time and you feel nothing? I mean honestly NOTHING! It just wasn't what I pictured it to be. To fake an orgasm your first time. He just gave me a look, like "Your not enjoying this?" look. I never reached an orgasm, I never got close to it. I would appreciate your answers and your comments:)
Thanks:)

[iDish]

I have no idea how you were able to straddle him and lose your virginity. Losing your virginity hurts like a B!otch so you must have had lots of practice or something before hand. Even with a tiny penis, I don't see how that's possible. I know I was in pain when I first had sex. And it was with a guy with a small penis as well. When you're a virgin, the size of the penis shouldn't matter. It's still painful to lose your virginity.

But anyway, a guy has to have some skill in order to please a girl with penetration. And sense he had a small penis, it's no surprise that he didn't stretch you much. Obviously, he didn't play much with your clitoris and that's bad. Did you go into it without any foreplay at all? Even with a small penis, a guy still has the potential to do a good job. You just managed to choose a guy who didn't know what they heck he was doing. All in all it was poor planning on both of y'alls parts. Did you expect that, after penetration, the orgasms would just keep coming? If there is no proper stimulation then of course there will be no feeling. But the fact that you didn't even feel pain worries me. Maybe you're not as tight as you think you are and maybe he was just being polite? I know plenty of girls who tell men that their s are a really nice size even though it's not true. And they act like they are having the time of their lives during sex even though they really aren't. Maybe that's what he did with you. He may have thought "Hmm she's a virgin but she's not very tight. I keep slipping out. Oh well, I'll just tell her she's tight so that I make her feel good about herself." It wouldn't be the first time a guy has done that to a girl in order to boost her self-esteem.

[Fr_Chuck]

In any position, it is the correct position, leaning forward or backward to get the correct feel.
Also size has little to do with it, I use the idea of the girl pleasing herself, well I have never known a man smaller than the girls finger?

So it is making sure that things are touching and doing the right thing.

If for example you are using a lot of sex toys yourself, the first real time with someone may not be as expected

[talaniman]

You had an inexperienced partner. Or he was lazy.

[Choux]

You have to understand that you are a rank beginner at having intercourse. There is much to learn. :)

My opinion, you have to experience different positions, missionary, doggie, whatever... I think the female atop is a position for an experienced female.

Also, you seem to be quick to blame your partner instead of asking yourself how better to work together. That worries me. Blame has no place in the bedroom in any way, shape or form.

Another problem may be that you have no feelings for your partner... you and he sound like you are just in it for a mechanical release. That's also going to be a big problem for you and him.

In conclusion, I think you need to look for a new boyfriend, someone you can learn to care for, someone to learn with.

Best wishes to you in the future, :)

[Synnen]

Most women don't have orgasms from intercourse. The nerve endings just are not there.

You're more likely to have an orgasm from clitoral stimulation.

[xoxaprilwine]

It's a little uncomfortable for me to ask this, but I figured asking people that don't know who I am might be easier for me. I'm about to be 20 in a couple of months and just recently lost my virginity. I am a very shy girl. Well I finally lost it! I mean I have done some sexual things, but nothing to benefit me. While we were having sex, well the WHOLE time he kept slipping out of me, I was on top straddling him the whole time, but he kept slipping out! I felt it when he first inserted, but that was the only feeling that I had. After he was in I couldn't tell if he was in or if he slipped out! I felt NOTHING! No pain, no sensation, honestly I got more of a sensation when he slipped out and he hit my clitoris. I don't think that my vagina was to loose because he commented on the tightness of it, so I think that's not a reason for him to keep slipping out. But he does have a smaller penis, well out of all the one I have seen. But the question I'm asking is if that's normal? Your first time and you feel nothing? I mean honestly NOTHING! It just wasn't what I pictured it to be. To fake an orgasm your first time. He just gave me a look, like "Your not enjoying this?" look. I never reached an orgasm, I never got close to it. I would appreciate your answers and your comments:)
Thanks:)

Ok so I had the same sort of experience as you. I didn't masturbate (no inclination to) and I did have some sexual encounters prior to but nothing that went too far... just couldn't find the right guy to be with because it was not a mutual feeling. Any how... then I met my husband, we dated a year before we said "I love you", then one night things got a little hot and I was ready... he wasn't. Turns out he was kind of limp and fell out too! I felt the motion of it but nothing that wowed me or said that it would hurt... it has nothing to do with being tight either but true enough that you can get feelings from the slightest thing as your finger. The thing is your finger is solid... if it was limp... then you wouldn't get as much feeling out of that either... well in my opinion anyhow. Get this two nights later... he turned into this monster and we made love all night long... it hurt like a SOAB at first and afterwards or after a while felt better... sore the next day and everything. So I think you are probably in that sort of situation too. (Regardless if you masturbate or not - you should feel something... but him not being erect can add to it). Note that it wasn't you, he was probably just as nervous :) (I believe if she says's she's a virgin I will believe her unless she says's otherwise) As it goes for the orgasm... everyone else answered that... could take up to 20 - 40 minutes your first time.

[spyderglass]

He may have kept slipping out because you were so tight. Or like April said he could have gone limp because he was nervous. But honestly the vagina doesn't have very many nerve endings... and unless you have found the elusive 'G' spot then find a position that... 'rubs you the right way'. Practice makes perfect.

[ziggyelephant]

Thanks:) to me this was most helpful

[Lovelee]

It's really not a good sign if your having sex for the first time and you feel nothing, then to make matters worse by him saying how tight you are. He must be quite small because I cannot fathom why you wouldn't feel anything.
When I broke my virginity it hurt like h*&! so much so that he had to blast his stereo to drown out my screaming.

[Synnen]

And when I lost my virginity, it wasn't really painful at all. Uncomfortable, but not painful.

Every woman and every woman's experience in that matter is going to be different.

What concerns me, really--is the faking of the orgasm.

If you can't be honest with your man about what you're experiencing, then 2 things are wrong. 1. your communication level and trust with this guy are NOT at the point where you should be having sex with him, and 2. Once you start faking orgasms, you're giving him false signals about what feels right, and he'll NEVER be able to find the REAL right cues to make you orgasms. NEVER FAKE IT. All you're doing is setting yourself up for future failures.

[flickka]

Um... the true definition of a virgin is someone pure, who has never had ANY sexual encounter, of any sort. This may be argumental but you weren't a virgin: you just had sex for the first time.

As far as not feeling anything at all, no pain, no pleasure, no nothing... I would have to say that your partner was definitely inexperienced. There should have been foreplay of some sort before the actual intercourse

[Synnen]

um...the true definition of a virgin is someone pure, who has never had ANY sexual encounter, of any sort. This may be argumental but you weren't a virgin: you just had sex for the first time.

As far as not feeling anything at all, no pain, no pleasure, no nothing.....i would have to say that your partner was definitely inexperienced. There should have been foreplay of some sort before the actual intercourse

Webster's defines virgin as:

Main Entry: 1vir·gin
Pronunciation: \ˈvər-jən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French virgine, from Latin virgin-, virgo young woman, virgin
Date: 13th century
1 a: an unmarried woman devoted to religion bcapitalized : virgo
2 a: an absolutely chaste young woman b: an unmarried girl or woman
3capitalized : virgin mary
4 a: a person who has not had sexual intercourse b: a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity <a virgin in politics>
5: a female animal that has never copulated

While YOU may choose to only see definition 2a, most of the rest of us use definition 4a in regular usage.

By your use of the word, anyone who has ever KISSED a member of the gender they are attracted to is no longer a virgin.

Either way, her post isn't about whether she was a virgin, it's about the sensations (or lack thereof) involved in her first encounter with intercourse. Let's stick with THAT topic, and save the definition of virginity (on which there have been SEVERAL threads) for a Members Discussion thread.

Basically, I'm saying that if there is any more debate about the definition of virginity in THIS thread, I'll move the post above mine, my post, and all posts dealing with it AFTER this to a Members Discussion thread.

[shyfoxie]

First of all, it doesn't ALWAYS hurt to lose your virginity. Sometimes the hymen does stretch, or wasn't very substantial to begin with, so that could explain the lack of discomfort.

Personally, by first time was fine, we even got to doing a few different positions and then we went at it again a short time later. It was a little uncomfortable inserting, but apparently hurt him more than me (hmm... a little too tight?). It took the third time until I bled at all, so I'm assuming the previous times had gone in at just the "right" angle not to stretch or pull too much. Having had a fun first time might explain my tendency to undress him as soon as we're alone LOL (he's still mine---i has shiny ring!)

And about not feeling, to be honest, the walls of the vagina are generally not that sensitive. Most of the feeling is right up by the opening or at the "G-spot" (FYI, it's on the front of the vag wall, a few inches in, although the actual structure is behind the wall). Doggy style is a good position for stimulating it :)

Woman on top is a tricky position, to be honest, you need to get juuuust the right angle for it to work. You need a bit more practice is all. And him falling out is a tightness+coordination issue. Work on your rhythm, and get a bit loose and he'll stay in fine.


One last bit of advice--don't fake it. If something's not working out, just suggest to your partner that you 'try something new' or 'switch it up'. You are not obligated to come every time for the sake of his ego, and, like I said, you just need to try something new.


Ah, the things you learn as an army medic...