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yme · Sep 25, 2008, 07:49 PM

I had my suspicions for a while that my wife was cheating and I finally have hard evidence on her. I really want the kids because I do a better job of looking out for their needs than she does. She has always wanted to keep our daughter but I found nude pictures of her that she was sending to her male friend she went to see a few weeks ago. Her mother knows of her extra marital affair because the guy and my wife were at her house the whole time. She doesn't know that I know she plans to leave and take our daughter. I have e-mails and phone records to support everything. I should have a pretty good chance in court. She doesn't know that I have all of this on her. Her friend is in the military so I can call his commanding officer and take care of him. Am I being to vindictive.

redwee74 · Sep 25, 2008, 08:08 PM

My suggestion is just worry about the kids. Let her go with military guy. Just get a good lawyer and stand your ground on the children's behalf. I would not contact anyone except an attorney and keep what you have on her someplace safe until you can get it to the lawyer. Be the bigger person and Good Luck.

Uncle Darrell · Sep 25, 2008, 08:09 PM

Actually his comanding officer doesn't care about his off duty activities, so you are just spinning your wheels. As for the evidence, it depends on the state you live in. If you live in a no fault state, evidence doesn't matter. Getting your kids will bepend on if she is an unfit mother. Having an affair, emails and nude pictures won't do it. You have to prove she is an unfit mother ie: neglect, abuse, substance abuse. The cards are stacked against you. Good luck.

liz28 · Sep 26, 2008, 10:16 AM

I agree with Uncle Darelle. Being an unfit mother isn't based on morals. Even though she is wrong you still will have to prove she is an unfit mother in court. You stated that you have have kids but your wife would only want your daughter so I am assuming the other child is a boy and she don't want him. Maybe it's time to contact a lawyer and start your divorce process because if you have proof that she will uproot your daughter to another state to be with someone else and leave the other child behind, do something fast and don't wait.

DoulaLC · Sep 26, 2008, 01:37 PM

It can be so tempting to get even, but when you are thinking of the children, it is always better to take the high road in how you deal with the other parent in both action and words. There have been cases where adultery has been an issue with service people, but it is usually when it has involved other people, or spouses of people, who are in the service as well and it is not commonly sought out.

As the others have said, do what you can to insure the well being of the kids. If you do the bulk of the caring for them, that can carry some weight... and you will need all that you can get. Document everything that may be beneficial to your case. A good lawyer will guide you in how best to prepare.

div2wice · Sep 29, 2008, 08:40 PM

I agree with everyone else. Unless you have proof that she is neglecting the children, then you really don't have any chance of getting custody away from her completely. Despite her horrible actions... I know it doesn't seem fair, but for some reason, courts usually assume children are better of with their mothers... even when that isn't always the truth.

Don't bother contacting this guys CO. I can tell you from person experience, the CO will most likely do absolutely nothing. Instead, the guy will be thought of as "the man" for taking another man's woman away, they'll discuss the specifics of their relationship around his work/base, etc. It will not do any good, and again the CO will do NOTHING. In his mind, he has more important things to do. I guarantee you that guy will not get into any trouble in regards to the military.

Just do what you can for the kids, concentrate on them and get away from her.