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lex1234 · Sep 24, 2008, 11:41 PM

I have been active for over a year and this problem has been here since day one... I can't come with anyone... I can orgasm fine by myself. My boyfriend tells me I need to clear my head but when I'm with him all I think about is sex when we are doing the deed... I love sex with him but I need it a bit harder in order to feel anything semi pleasurable.. im wondering why don't I have that much feeling down there and why is it that I can't come.. sometimes I get the sensation that I am about to but it goes away abruptly when we don't even change what we are doing. We have tried pretty much everything from toys to lube or a lot of foreplay... he can go for a long time but its really frustrating for him. Now more than anything I feel a lot of anxiety if I will come or not.. weve talked but I don't know what to do... help?? Also what is the supplement sentia? How does it work?

saprophilous · Sep 25, 2008, 01:23 AM

The anxiety definitely won't help. Have you tried masturbating in front of each other? I have found that doing that makes it more comfortable to be around each other and also you learn about what makes you turned on/come. I believe the biggest issue is that you may feel self conscious and it is hard to focus on the sensation if you are imagining how you look/feel/should be doing.

Make sure you communicate -- if while having vaginal sex and you feel as though you are going to orgasm, you might try switching it up, the sensation can sometimes actually dull unless you switch up the pacing/movement -- tell him to go slow and deep for a bit and then focus on being tight around him. When the muscles inside clamp down it really helps to carry through the orgasm... if you do orgasm, once he feels you naturally get tighter he'll probably speed up and it'll feel great for both of you.

lex1234 · Sep 25, 2008, 08:57 AM

Yah we have both masturbated in front of each other which was a first for him... he has done it before with other women but never came... we are extremely comfortable around each other... and we try switching it up like you said... it still goes away... ugh... I would really give anything to come with him but I am just wondering why I can't with any guy I'm with... we have tried toys while sex and doing the same things I do when I come by myself... nothing works... uuuuggggghhhh... im thinking of going to a doctor but I don't know if I go to a regular gyno or to somebody else...

MrEasy · Sep 25, 2008, 05:11 PM

Lex, you said you can orgasm by masturbating but not experience orgasm with anyone else. I assume you mean through intercourse with your partner or toys. Have you ever tried stimulating your clitoris while he is performing intercourse? Since you have been able to bring yourself to orgasm, this puts you in control of speed and intensity. Bringing yourself to a higher level of excitement during intercourse may help take you over the top.

You didn't mention anything about oral sex. Have you been able to orgasm orally with any of your partners?

inshortsupply3 · Sep 26, 2008, 01:18 PM

Deeper penetration is obviously necessary. Getting the pelvic areas closer together is important so there is more clitoris contact with his pelvic bone, along with the deepened penetration.
To do this have him press on the tendon that connects his penis to his body, at the base of the shaft. Do it in a downward direction toward the tip for about two inches. Do this when he is fully erect, this process makes the penis wider and longer over time.