[feelingempty]

Here's some background information:

My girlfriend and I are both 19, and have been together for two years, since the beginning of senior year in high school. We became "best friends" through playing music together before we actually started dating, we had a lot in common, and things have been great for a long time. Both of our parents loved us, and we seriously used to think our relationship would last forever. Last year we went to different colleges, about 8 hours apart, but we endured the long distance relationship. She transferred to my school this year, not only to be close to me, but also because it is a great music school and offers everything she's wanted.

However, not even a week of classes went by, and she said she wanted a break, even though she said she still loved me. I suppose it's not really sudden, because she's been kind of distant for like the week before; I thought she was just making new friends and adjusting to the new school, so I kind of left her alone.

Also, this summer things have been mediocre between us, like we grew apart from each other. Frankly I didn't feel too motivated about us, because in May she got really drunk and supposedly some guy kissed her, and she didn't stop him. I don't know exactly what happened, but either way I was really bummed out this whole summer. But I felt like I was finally ready to move past it, and then she said she wanted some time apart.

I should also mention that at the end of this summer, I went on vacation to a different country for about ten days, and we both emailed each other every day, telling how much we missed each other and couldn't wait to be together again. When I came back things were great between us for the few days before we left for school. This was only two weeks before she wanted the break, so I genuinely believe she still does love me.

She said she wanted the break because we were growing apart and weren't as happy as we used to be, and because she had to be selfish and focus on herself - school, making new friends, finding a job, etc. - so she didn't want to stress out about our relationship. She said she doesn't know how long it will take her, and that she doesn't expect me to wait around for her because that would be unfair for me. However she said that she still loves me, and could see us getting back together in the future.

I totally understand what she's saying, and I respect her decision. I don't think a guy was involved, at least when she wanted the break, since she's only been at the school for a week. I told her I would not call her until she gives me a response. It's been almost two weeks since the break started, and we have not made any contact, although I saw her while walking to class the other day, and we both waved to each other. In the meantime, I've been trying to focus on myself, hanging out with people, doing well in school, picking up a new hobby, etc.

Needless to say, it's been really hard for me, and I miss her so much. This time apart made me realize how awesome of a girlfriend she was, and how I had taken her for granted. I would do anything to go back in time and fix everything I did wrong. I keep going through phases in a day; I would be confident that she'll come back, and I would feel good about this break, but then a few hours later I would feel miserable and think that it was all over. I've considered finding someone else, but I really just want her and no one else.

How long should I wait for her to contact me before I do, a month? When she says she can see us together in the future, does she mean in a few weeks, months, or years? Does she just want to experience other guys, since I'm pretty much her first boyfriend? What are the chances of us getting back together? Should I just try to move on? Any input would be great. Thanks.

P.S. I'm really sorry about this long post, hopefully I covered everything you need to know.

[ylaira]

In my opinion, when she contacts you back or 3 weeks, whichever comes first. 3 weeks is enough for me to tell if I can afford to lose a person or not.

On the 3rd week call her and lay your cards. When you do, stand up for the agreement.

[feelingempty]

So it's been over three weeks of no contact, and she still hasn't called me. This Saturday will be exactly a month from the break, and also our two year anniversary (if we're even considered still together). Should I talk to her and see how she's doing, possibly bring up where this break is going, because I really want to know... or should I continue to not contact her?Would it be a bad idea to at least let her know that I still care about her and remember our anniversary?