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srulik86 · Sep 22, 2008, 03:52 AM

OK so me and my ex have had a crazy up and down rollercoaster of a year, spliting up a number of times, she even slept with my bets mate a week after we split up the last time because he fed her apack of les about me cheating on her etc. anyway, recently I've been doing very well for myself, career wise and am getting a lot of attention from girls, one in particular whom I have taken a shine to. My ex knows this and over the last month my ex keeps messaging me telling me how much she misses me, how she can't blieve she let the most precious thing in her life slip through her hands, how she regrets everything with my mate, and for the firs time ever she told me that she loved me. She said she has well and truly realised what she has lost and how much she needs me. etc. she is now back at college which is near where I live and the last week we have been sleeping 2gther, hanging out etc and she told me again that she is in love with me and realised what she lost and wants me back. What I want to know is can I trust that this is for real? Do people actually realise stuff like this?

talaniman · Sep 22, 2008, 04:53 AM

Don't you think it simply amazing, how people do what you want, after they have dumped you, and slept with your mate. And now your wondering if she has changed, and is all for you.

Dude don't fall for that, never fall for that kind of thing. Her words are false, and she only wants a good guy to do things for her, since the other guy won't. Don't you either.

Don't fall for the love word from the mouth of someone who has their own agenda.

turbogtir · Sep 22, 2008, 06:57 AM

Im going through this same thing right now, Same THING and I am stuck wondering weather I should believe her or not? So don't worry dude you are not alone, just give it good thought and make your decision, are you willing to get hurt again? Are you willing to forgive and forget? I for one am still not sure what il do, I know I can forgive but I will never forget.

Romefalls19 · Sep 22, 2008, 07:08 AM

Hmm.. So because someone tells her things, she sleeps with your best friend? You really think it's a one time thing? You've moved on, found someone new and now when she's off your radar, she starts crawling back. Why would you even think about going back to a lying, cheating, manipulative, and shallow lady like that?

happy_jester · Sep 22, 2008, 07:16 AM

Don't fall for the love word from the mouth of someone who has their own agenda.

Your ex is acting all friendly to you because she now knows what she's lost,and she
Wants it back...

Your ex is doing her own thing,as well as wanting you back.

... Well,be strong and tell her that she CAN'T

mattd · Sep 22, 2008, 07:41 AM

I've read a lot of posts on here and nearly every reply seems to be of the nature that you're ex is a liar, if they did this they'll always do it and generally suggesting that they're not a nice person. That may sometimes be the case but it's important to remember that at the same time a lot of the replies to posters on here who post with problems and issues say that you can change, you can feel better and mistakes are made.

I'm not saying it's always the case and it probably rarely is, but if we can change why can't our ex's? People make mistakes and grow and learn from them and out of all the people in the world you and her chose each other at one point, there must have been something there. I'm not saying take her actions as genuine, authentic or a sign that she might still love you but I don't think it's fair to completely rule out the possibility that someone other than ourselves can change and realise a mistake.

I've learnt a lot from my breakup and I've changed many aspects of my lifestyle, some of it consciously and some of it has just been a learning experience but if my ex were to go and ask someone whether it's true I can change I know how I'd feel if they suggested that I'd always be the same.

I like to go against the grain, so take my advice with a pinch of salt but if you love her and you believe in her, don't necessarily take what she says at face value, give her a while to prove that it is real and not just a jealous rebound to your new girl. I suppose it depends on what you're willing to go through, you could end up getting more hurt than you possibly imagined or she may well have grown up and realised her mistakes.

Personally if I were in your situation and I loved and believed her (that would be important) then I'd give her the chance and the time to prove what she says, I just wouldn't jump in head first. Then again I'm not scared of putting myself out there and risking getting hurt, I think that we get presented with many challenges in life and it just depends on whether you chose to take them, you always have the choice.

srulik86 · Sep 22, 2008, 11:08 AM

Thanks guys. I know this is a total risk, I'm taking a massive risk with her. And its up to me whether I go with it or not. If it works out then the risk will clearly be worth it so maybe I should.

srulik86 · Sep 22, 2008, 11:28 AM

Agghhhhhhhhh! I'm so confused. Everyone's calling me an idiot for getting back with her... but I want to honestly blieve she has changed things are different. But with al this negativity aorund me I'm inclined to believe she is using me which isn't making me enjoying what we have right now. Should I ask her WHY she wants me now? I feel so confused.

srulik86 · Sep 22, 2008, 03:52 PM

OK so I spoke to her tonight and I told her that I love her and I really want it to work out this time. She said 'dont be silly, I feel exactly the same'

srulik86 · Sep 22, 2008, 03:55 PM

So text back saying 'good! Because I don't want a repeat of happened so many times before' she didn't reply to that

turbogtir · Sep 22, 2008, 05:34 PM

You should have waited abit longer, now she knows she got you, it probably won't be the same as before, you really needed to go NC abit longer, but good luck to you and hopefully it pans out, keep us updated! Dude!

srulik86 · Sep 23, 2008, 02:11 AM

Cheers mate. We'll we are still 2gther, but on the NC front I think your right. I need to not be the one who makes contact first. Which sounds silly playing games with my own girlfriend. Its just hard at the moment, as I work nights and she studies during the day. The thing is she gets all romantic and sappy with me and I love it, but when I get all romantic and soppy with her it pushes her away. I just don't know what to do. She's coming to watch me perform tonight, with her college and a lo of epoeple there don't even think we talk let alone seeing each other again. I'm just really hoping she is for real. I said to her maybe 6 months down the line if we are still going strong we can tell people then, we need to prove it to ourselves. I really miss her right now as it feels like we're drfiting, we've been here before.

srulik86 · Sep 23, 2008, 03:02 AM

We both know that tonight is going to be tough because no body kows we're back 2gther, and she is coming with all her college to watch me perform. Lats night I think I may av upset her saying don't expect me to be all over you because epeople don't know. This pissed her off I reckon. I just text her a second a go saying 'i don't care what people think about us, I want to see you tonight so make sure you stick around after!'... did I do right?

srulik86 · Sep 23, 2008, 03:23 AM

She just text back and said 'babe I really don't want it to mess things up between us' so I replied 'i know me niether, I just don't want you thinking I want to hide us. OK I dunerstand if you don't stick around, but we got some making up time to do this weekend ;)'

srulik86 · Sep 23, 2008, 03:28 AM

Do you think she genuinely doesn't want to mess things up, or just not want to see me after. Because she hasn't rpelied to my last text about making up time this weekend and normally she would be flirty back.

srulik86 · Sep 23, 2008, 03:48 AM

Honestly do people think she is playing me? Strangley she only wants to know me now I'm getting famous

wikedjuggalo · Sep 23, 2008, 05:45 AM

People spoke their peace. Someone who would jump in the sack with your best mate because word of mouth. Well I would not be talking to them again. I think you should have kept trucking in the opposite direction.
She has you in her pocket and she knows that. It will not be the same.
You probably should have looked into that new girl.

I wish you the best and hope she changed.

cantbelieveit · Sep 23, 2008, 08:46 AM

I am with wiked on this one... girls know when they have a guy wrapped around their finger. She sounds maybe a bit manipulative. They say all the right things you want to hear to get what they want. Some girls have a real knack for that kind of stuff and can't be trusted. What has she done to show you she's changed? I believe actions speak louder than words.

talaniman · Sep 23, 2008, 09:18 AM

Only you know how much you can take, or even what you want! You got her, so isn't that what you want??