[redwee74]

First let me apologize because this will be a little long. I am putting this to text to keep from contacting her.

I will begin with how it began. I asked her out in Feb. of this year and we almost instantly became attached at the hip. We both have children, she had a divorce and I am a widower. She was raised very conservatively, I mean don't cut your hair and wear dresses. She was also an ugly duckling who became a swan.

The relationship was very intense at the start, could not get enough of each other. We share a lot of our problems and worries. I believe we were both looking for the same thing just went to quick. She had a prolonged affair with a married man after her divorce and was starting to realize how wrong it was and we talked a lot about it. I am not the kind of person who sugar coats thing and was a little harsh about what I thought about that and what kind of people do those things. Maybe a mistake maybe not. Who knows? We also began talking about our relationships that gave us our precious children. She was not over her divorce or ex-husband is what I gathered from the conversations. I was not over the loss of my son's mother. I had stayed isolated from meaningful relationships because I thought that was the correct thing to do. I did not stay away from women just kept them from any close attachment.

Then some ex boyfriends of hers began calling her, she was very confused because of her divorce. She would date anyone who showed her attention. She began lying about phone calls and one of her ex's showed up at her house while I was on the phone with her and everything. She began to hide her cell phone and things of that nature, which was unusual.

Anyway I thought the worst and accused her of it, when then broke up. She kept contact with me several times a day and we still when out and I stayed at her place and things like that for a couple of months. We were having sex and acting like we were still a couple. She just quit saying the love word and would not call me a boyfriend. That continued until just recently and we finally blew completely up. She ignored me for two weeks and then started calling again. I would call her back every couple of days and then she would call if I did not call. A weekend back she sent me a text and 1 in the morning and I did not answer it till the next morning and we continued talking but nothing like before. So this weekend comes around and I call her Friday night, she calls back Saturday like six or seven times and I talked to her about four times. She said she did not have anything to do, so of course I say lets do something and she says I don't know and then her ex and son call and she goes with them to the fair. Calls me as soon as she got a chance and then I found this website and have been going with no contact as much as possible. I did call her Monday to ask about her and her son.

I have found out something's that I did not know, like this is a pattern with her and she likes to date old men with money. Just some things to add to her overview.

So finally the question. What is going on with her? If any of you all could help with a situation similar and Should I even worry about it? I know no one knows her mind but I am sure someone has had a similar situation.

[talaniman]

Never been in that situation, because I tended to leave females with that much baggage, and those game playing ways alone. I have never been that attached, that I let my common sense, and what I saw, keep me close to someone, I had trust issues with. In a nutshell, this may not work out in your favor at all, and I would move to someone a little more healthy, and forthcoming.*

*Translate to sane, and honest

[redwee74]

Thanks Talaniman, you always seem to hit the nail right on the head. I had another person tell me almost the same thing, but I like to get opinions from someone who is not involved with the situation. The other person was a close friend and I feel they are going to be a little weighted to my side. Would appreciate some more opinions.

[chuff]

Redwee, She's a user and I have a feeling you know it and I have a feeling your holding some things back because you don't want to admit it to yourself. First of all, she never loved you, she told you she did to control you. You are a sensitive and emotional guy and she recognized that and used it to her advantage, so she controlled your behavior by telling you that she loved you. Secondly, you are a permanent back up plan. You are always available on HER terms waiting around to do something if she wants. She calls you but if someone else comes along she's going with them because they have not demonstrated to her they will wait around for her. Third you are making her out to be something she's not. She's not a conservative, confused divorcée, she's a tramp that sleeps with married men that use her but doesn't see a loyal and concerned guy right in front of her when she has it.

Now I'm sure your hurting as a result of losing your wife but filling that void with a emotionally challenged woman isn't going to cure that void or quite honestly do anything for you. You'd be better off alone.