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lcly21 · Sep 17, 2008, 12:07 AM

I have a boyfriend and we are together for about 6 months already. He really really loves me but I don't know if I really love him. I enjoy his company. When he feels sad, I will be sad too. I take his words very seriously and pay a lot of attention on him. When our relationship shows red light, I feel sad and didn't want to lose him. He is indeed a great guy. I will think about him when I don't see him but I am always very rational in this relationship. And when I have friends around or have something to do, I tend to neglect him. I feel a complicated feeling in heart as I don't want to cheat him by saying I love him but at the same time, I don't want to lose him. Am I truly in love with him??

Clough · Sep 17, 2008, 12:39 AM

Hi, lcly21!

How old are you and how old is he, please? It would be helpful to know about that in order for folks here to address your question the best.

Thanks!

lcly21 · Sep 17, 2008, 01:00 AM

Both of us are 21 yrs old.

Clough · Sep 17, 2008, 01:09 AM

Thanks!

In my opinion, it sounds like you are growing in love with him, but not deeply in love with him. Many times it will take a long time to truly be in love with someone in a deep and meaningful sense of the word.

What do you mean when you say that you tend to neglect him when you have friends around or have something to do, please? Are you feeling guilty perhaps?

lcly21 · Sep 17, 2008, 01:20 AM

Thanks!
He is actually a sensitive guy who needs a lot of attention. When I am with my friends or when I am busy, I tend to put my focus on my friends and my work rather than him. Yeah perhaps I am guilty for not being able to give him the care that he needs, and that is why I'm wondering if I am truly in love with him..

Clough · Sep 17, 2008, 01:26 AM

Is he the type of person that seems to need attention all of the time? What sort of things attract you to him?

lcly21 · Sep 17, 2008, 01:52 AM

Not all the time but most of the time. I think his character attracts me, as in his perceptions towards things.

Romefalls19 · Sep 17, 2008, 05:12 AM

6 months, you're still getting to know him and getting used to his company. It could be love and building into something stronger but only time will reveal that answer

talaniman · Sep 17, 2008, 05:43 AM

Don't be worried at this point, as your both still learning each others ways so if your having questions, now is the time to seriously talk to each other. It sounds like your going at the right pace, to be on to something.

JBeaucaire · Sep 17, 2008, 06:56 AM

Sounds like you're paying attention, which is all you can really expect to have accomplished at this point. The "honeymoon" period is over and you two are now comfortable around each other and starting to act "normal".

It's this next 6 months where you decide things are growing steadily, or flatlining. Just pay attention. This period isn't about love, it's about compatibility. If you two are compatible in more ways than NOT, it should continue to get better. If not, well... there you go.

HistorianChick · Sep 17, 2008, 07:00 AM

"Falling in love" and "being in love" are two different things - equally as wonderful, but two separate steps in the process.

I agree with the above posters, you may be falling in love with him. That is exciting! It sounds like you genuinely care about him and his welfare, that is just where you should be. You have your eyes open to what is going on in your relationship, you're being smart while your heart is growing more fond of him. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Take your time, don't rush the "falling in love" stage - it's what you'll look back on and smile. :)