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sexypreggo · Sep 11, 2008, 02:36 PM

I'm 22 years old and my boyfriend is also about to turn 22 this month. We have been dating for 8 months. We moved in together about 4 months ago. I am also 3 1/2 months pregnant, with twins.

Ok now on to the problem I'm having, I've noticed a huge decrease in the sex we have and it's really bothering me. We've always been a very sexually strong couple. We would have no problem having sex many times a day for days and we would take breaks when we both were a little burned out and we'd wait a couple days or at longest a week for whatever reasons. This I have no problem, I understand if you have sex a lot that you do need a break, even I do. I've noticed that recently we've gone from great sex that we've always had to where I'm lucky if we have sex 2-3 times a week, if that. And when we do, most of the time I have to initiate it and it doesn't last long at all. The sex is short and he skimps on foreplay, he rushes through the whole where I'm left with a feeling of this satisfaction. I would estimate that this has been going on for about a month. Over the past week to two weeks any of the sex we have had has been because I wanted it and he was just trying to make me happy, which believe is still appreicated(at least he's not stopped completely).

Now this slow but steady decrease in sex has really started to bother me since I've noticed that when he wakes up early in the morning he gets off to porn everyday, but I can't get laid to save my life lol. I've brought the subject up and he has told me that he gets tired of being on top because A) it's gotten old and is boring and B) because if he's on top for too long he knee starts to hurt(which he does have a bad knee, when we got out during the day even just walking around he wears a knee brace to help, the cartilage has worn down). I understand both of the points that he brings up. But the last time we had sex I approached him while he was sleeping and surprised him with taking control and being on top and just going for it. And occasionally I do get on top. And we use many different positions. We always have, recently it's gone to just missionary and one or two others. I'm wondering why only now he's started to say his knee bothers him. I'm also wondering why only now he's gotten bored. At this point and time it has become harder for me to walk let alone ride him. Being pregnatn with twins I'm bigger than a regualr three month pregnancy, I'm more the size of a 5 month pregnancy and I do have problems with my hips due to extra weight, any added weight, even 10 lbs. has been difficult for me to carry due to some cheerleading injuries I've had.

So, I don't know what to do. I'm at wits end. I am craving sex more than ever and my boyfriend just doesn't want to do it at all anymore. But he's still horny cause he's wacking off all the damn time. I approach him and he says he doesn't feel good or he's tired. What do I do? What's going on? Why can't I get laid without feeling like a charity project?

plonak · Sep 11, 2008, 03:19 PM

Maybe he's stressed out because you're about to have twins and you're both young and not married.. do you thimk that could be a possibility?

He could also be stressed with work, money, could be taking new medications, it could be a lot of things..

My best advice is to sit him down and ask him to be honest and tell you what's up.. a relationship can't survive if you don't have communication.. be nice and patient with him, you guys have a lot to discuss

ConfusedInAK · Sep 11, 2008, 06:37 PM

First kids?

Many men feel like they will hurt the baby (or you) if they have sex while you're pregnant. I would assure him this is not the case... unless you are a high risk pregnancy.

However, some guys can't handle the changes that are going on with your body...

Kind of crappy since many women get super horny while pregnant...

Choux · Sep 11, 2008, 06:56 PM

Since he is so uncooperative with you about sexual matters, I think he has hidden resentments... like how you are now pregnant, and he didn't want to have children now??

Why don't you ask him about his resentments? Have a good talk.

Best wishes going forward,

letmetellu · Sep 11, 2008, 07:29 PM

This could be a case of a guy that did not want responsibilities trying to work himself out of the situation, I hate to think this way but I have seen it so many times. I spent 30 years working with girls in crisis and a lot of them were like what you are in now. I hope not.

sexypreggo · Sep 12, 2008, 04:35 AM

Well I have talked to him tonight and he's telling me that he doesn't feel sex is special anymore cause we did it so much. I got all dressed up in heels and the sexiest things I could find and I still couldn't get anything. We looked at porn together in everything and nothing. I believe he left the room to go finish off downstairs cause the porn pages were up when I came down. He told me tonight he'd roll over and let me do whatever but he was going to sleep. What the hell does that mean?? I'm so frustrated and feel so horrible that I am starting to get really and truly angry with him. I don't know if I should or not, but I am. I can't stand to be around him or for him to touch me(in any way like kiss or my arm or whatever) he asked me stop bugging him cause it turns him off more, but I'm to the point to where even if he came to me I wouldn't want to touch him let alone sleep with him. I'm questioning going outside of the relaitonship.. please help..

randomwcuman · Sep 12, 2008, 09:16 AM

Sounds like he is being increidbly selfish. Yes he may be scared less about having children this young espcecially twins, but to be honest, I think it is becuas ehe got you pregnant he doesn't want the repsonsibility so he is forcing you to end the relationship so he won't look bad. Especially when it comes ot child support later

Synnen · Sep 13, 2008, 09:09 AM

Have you TOLD him that you're considering cheating on him if he can't start seeing you as sexy again?

With a first child, it's sometimes really hard for men to see women as "sexy"---I mean, you're going to be a MOM! And HE did that to you! It could be guilt, it could be stress about becoming a dad, it could be any number of things.

However, unless you can get HIM to tell you what it is, you're never going to know for sure. HE is the only one that knows what's going on in his head.

Has it occurred to you that if you're bigger because of the babies, that he needs to be at a different angle for sex, and that MAY cause more pressure on his knees? You need to try to be rational about this when speaking to him, because if you're NOT, he's going to blow it off as the hormones from pregnancy.