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    moviestar's Avatar
    moviestar Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 9, 2008, 05:04 PM
    Dating a Coworker
    Ok, I dated this wonderful guy for only a few weeks but we had been friends for several months. We work at a small company (about 10 employees). I was concerned when we started dating that we should have gone to our boss and ask him or tell him that we were dating. There was nothing in the employee handbook about it. Well, the guy I was dating was thinking about it and then he came over to my house one night and broke up with me. He said that he didn't want to but he was worried about our jobs at work. He is not my manager, we are coworkers on the same account. Our company is only 4 years old and we are already making 12 million a year. We have a great product and it isn't dependent on the economy.

    Anyway, he said that he still had feelings for me and that maybe in the future we could date if one of us was working there. Well, I don't mind finding another job. He didn't want me to quit, and thought I was doing a great job at work. We would text at work (because we were worried people thought something was going on between us-so we kept it quiet), and he would say that he still had feelings for me, and that he missed me. But it got to the point I was shaking at work, and couldn't focus. I had to move my desk to be away from him. One day my boss said a really mean thing to me (calling me fat) and my ex didn't say a word. I was so mad at him. He didn't defend me. He ended up texting me to see if I was OK, and I got mad at him and told him that "If you can't defend me then I don't want to date someone or be friends with someone who can't stick up for me." I would do anything for my closest friends (that was legal). He got mad at me and said "That I was an emotional roller coaster and that he geniunely had feelings for me until that day, and that he didn't think we could ever be friends." I ended up telling him, the next day why I said what I said, and that we shouldn't text each other anymore because you can't have a conversation texting. He did say he still had feelings for me at that time. Well, it's been a few weeks since then and now he is just acting like I'm his coworker. Well, I wouldn't even say that. He is ignoring me somewhat. He isn't even treating me like he did before we dated.
    I don't know what to do. I am praying and looking for another job. My boss is a jerk, and then it's so hard to be around my ex. I don't even think he cared for me. If I could go back in time I never would have taken the job.

    How should I act now? I don't know if I should talk to him about the relationship or just act like coworkers? I feel stupid that I even got involved with him. I feel used. And now he is acting like everything is lovely with everyone else and treats me like I am invisible. What do I do?
    Dack276's Avatar
    Dack276 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Sep 9, 2008, 08:20 PM
    He's moving on... why don't you? Maybe if you find another guy to go out with he'll realize how he really feels and come back, worse case scenario, he doesn't comeback? You might have something with this other guy
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
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    #3

    Sep 9, 2008, 08:27 PM
    Really think about it before you quit your job. If your main reason is because of him, then I would advise against it. Things should get easier between the two of you as time passes. Just be cordial, but not too friendly. And always be professional.

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