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kroman · Sep 7, 2008, 08:51 PM

My boyfriend and I text all the time and we live 4 in half hours away from each other now that we are in college and we dirty text and dirty talk. How do I keep it interesting

kp2171 · Sep 8, 2008, 06:35 AM

Well, sexual tension builds when you get into the other persons head before you get into his/her pants, and you'll know him, his likes and turn ons better than us.

Playful suggestions that catch the other person off guard, when they aren't expecting it... simply describing your body to him, texting when you are taking your clothes off or out of the shower plays into the voyeur aspect, describing your body, slowly and deliberately mentally declothing him, telling him where your fingers are, your mouth is, your skin is on his skin...

Occasionally ill write about the things my lover likes to be most in the mood and prepared for sex... simple things like drawing her a hot bath and a glass of wine, having a warm room and soft blankets that invite her to be naked, massaging her body from her neck to her back to her waist, down her thighs, to her feet, and then working back up with my mouth... etc... just simply the things she likes... and sometimes the response ill get from a reader is "that left me bothered and needing a man now"...

Well... all it was is describing the things my lover likes. So focus on him. Yeah, I know... he's a boy... we guys like naked girls, right? Sure. But that doesn't mean you can't draw it out. Instead of texting him something dirty during the day, text him "i think im going to wear that matching underwear you like today and its up to you to make me take them off..."... I know, its texting so you don't want to write the great american novel... point is, even for a guy sex is mental, so get in his head...

Make him chase you, give a little, and go with his likes.

Nobody can script it for you, but you can always pick up some erotica to see how others talk about sex... my partner keeps a couple of these by the bed... 22 Erotic Stories for Couples, Joyful Desires... and others... something to stir the mind.

One of the best things you can do with playful sex talk is to introduce things you desire, want, need... if my lover tells me she wants me to "kiss here, softly" I'm sure as hell going to do it, or file that away until I can. Telling the other person what you want to do isn't consent... but it will be heard, it will build sexual tension around that act... so I think its often best to stay within the areas you are comfortable sexually. It will be more natural, won't introduce anything you don't want to do, and you'll be placing ideas in his head about what you like. And any man with half a clue will listen to a woman talk about what she wants sexually and those desires to pleasure himself by satiating her.

Ash123 · Sep 8, 2008, 03:00 PM

Just write what pops in your head. It'll make it more exciting for both of you.

Christopher618 · Sep 8, 2008, 03:53 PM

My wife and used to txt dirty but then it got boring. Then one day out of the blue I got a txt from her like any other day and opened it and WHAM there was a crotch shot and I loved it. Soon as I got off work it was on. So while she was in college a few days later I sent her one. And when guys say they can't be raped they are liars. It added a little fuel to the fire for us. May work for you as well. I mean I know if your in class you just can't take the pic right then and there if he sends you one but keep him on his toes. He'll like it. I hope this helps

Ash123 · Sep 8, 2008, 05:33 PM

Christopher618 said: "...And when guys say they can't be raped they are liars."

Ya lost me here?

Synnen · Sep 8, 2008, 05:51 PM

If dirty texts is what keeps your relationship alive and exciting... well, you're BOTH in trouble down the road.

Doing it occasionally is fun--doing it ALL THE TIME is predictable.

Try talking about other stuff, imo.

Christopher618 · Sep 8, 2008, 11:11 PM

Ash123-Meaning she came home and took charge and I was doing dishes at the time. Because a lot of the girls I know say men can't be raped. Well it happened right at the kitchen sink. She came home and took what she wanted lol. Make sense?

kp2171 · Sep 9, 2008, 05:38 AM

You might call it semantics, but maybe the use of the word "dominated" is better than casually using "rape"... as the husband of a woman who was raped as a teen, and understanding the trauma that comes with it, there's a clear difference. Pretty certain that's where the confusion from the first C618 post came from.

Love it when my partner pushes me to the wall and demands what she wants... but ill never use that word so out of context.

Choux · Sep 9, 2008, 01:20 PM

Have a boyfriend at college and a boyfriend at home. Your "at home boyfriend" will build up a lot of sexual tension for you if you seem a bit mysterious and not a people pleaser.

And, after all, you're going to college to get an education. :)

Christopher618 · Sep 9, 2008, 11:50 PM

I think it's how you use the word. Like "Debbie" was so horny when she got home she raped "Mark" right on the couch. That's like OK so what. Now use it like this, "Debbie" was raped by a man after she left the bar. The police found the man who did it and his name was "Mark". In that since sure that's sad and wrong. Kind of see what I'm saying. Plus I'm 23. So telling anyone or phrasing it that my wife dominated me sounds really funny to the point I wouldn't even mention it to my dog.