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    bonbfyre9's Avatar
    bonbfyre9 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 5, 2008, 12:25 PM
    I have six children and my oldest is female and 22 years of age. I am not a perfect person, and I have apologized when I have felt I was wrong or out of line or even over reacted, but I also all her life been the strong diciplinary parent, I had lines and I shared values and I lived them. I love all my children like the breath I breathe, but I won't and don't think that I should have to sit and put up with my 22 year old calling me narrow minded, and acting as though I am someone who only promotes and looks at things that represent my values and what I believe only, she does not know me, and I was the only one here for her all her life and she thinks lowly of me and is very rude and disrespectful, I have swallowed a lot and held my tongue, but I feel I have behaved like a respectable parent and mom and I have earned the respect as well as I am her mom, but I still don't get it. She has been visiting from the Navy since last Tuesday and this morning she left to stay with her sister, because of her mouth and I am just not going to allow it anymore, but I really don't think she gets it! Help.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Sep 5, 2008, 06:22 PM
    I have moved your post, it was posted as a answer to someone else's question.

    You have to stop holding your tongue and start being the parent.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #3

    Sep 6, 2008, 12:53 PM
    Remind her that she doesn't have to agree with your values and how you believe things should be, but that doesn't grant her the right to be disrespectful. Tell her that you found her comments hurtful.
    No doubt her thoughts of you being narrow minded come about simply because you don't believe how she does or how she thinks you should... :) Ask her what she would call that.
    Doesn't make either of you necessarily right or wrong... just two different people with different opinions.
    spyderglass's Avatar
    spyderglass Posts: 434, Reputation: 34
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    #4

    Sep 6, 2008, 02:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bonbfyre9
    I have six children and my oldest is female and 22 years of age. I am not a perfect person, and I have apologized when I have felt I was wrong or out of line or even over reacted, but I also all her life been the strong diciplinary parent, I had lines and I shared values and I lived them. I love all my children like the breath I breathe, but I won't and don't think that I should have to sit and put up with my 22 year old calling me narrow minded, and acting as though I am someone who only promotes and looks at things that represent my values and what I believe only, she does not know me, and I was the only one here for her all her life and she thinks lowly of me and is very rude and disrespectful, I have swallowed a lot and held my tongue, but I feel I have behaved like a respectable parent and mom and I have earned the respect as well as I am her mom, but I still don't get it. She has been visiting from the Navy since last Tuesday and this morning she left to stay with her sister, because of her mouth and I am just not going to allow it anymore, but I really don't think she gets it! help.
    Have you ever sat down an had a heart to heart with her?
    I am 21 (22 in OCT) and my mom raised me by herself- what you described
    Is what I used to feel- about my mom
    I had a baby and now I get along with my mom very well-
    However- she has changed a lot herself-
    Sit down and talk- when she calls you narrow-minded
    Ask why she feels that way- you may not feel like you need to explain yourself
    But remember even though she is your daughter she wants to be treated as an ADULT first
    She wants to be listened to- and make sure she understands where you are coming from

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