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cherry27 · Sep 5, 2008, 03:49 PM

I have a three year old daughter and I am a single mom. There is a chance that there could be three fathers. All fathers know that there is this chance and two want nothing to do with her, the one father that wants to have a relationship with her is very abusive and has many no contact orders against him, mine is for five years. He only wants to be involved when he wants to be a family again or has a new girlfriend who wants to meet her. I will not let him have anything to do with the child, I do not think it is healthy. I am now getting married soon to a wonderful man who I am having a baby with and has been raising her for the last two years. We have not collected child support from anyone but the "father" that is mentioned above is on her birth certificate and her affadavid of parental whatever. My future husband wants to adopt her. How do I begin this process and do I have a chance to have him adopt her and who do I talk to, and how do I keep her away from the abusive ''father'' for her on safety. I do not believe in interducing her to all of them because she should have one father. And not be confused. She is terified of the abusive father due to everything he has done to me. Where do I begin

stinawords · Sep 5, 2008, 03:59 PM

Well get married for starters because most states require at least one year of marriage before and adoption is possible. Then ask the dad on the because because he is the legal father if he will allow the adoption. If he will get a lawyer to draw up the papers and the judge will sign off on them. But if the legal dad won't allow the adoption then and you think there is a good chance that he is not the father then you will have to go to court to request a DNA test. You really need to get a lawyer anyway because it can get very involved and messy and lawyers just clean things up a bit. So cross your fingers that the legal dad will allow the adoption after you have meet the states relationship requirement for adoption.

JudyKayTee · Sep 6, 2008, 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by stinawords

Well get married for starters because most states require at least one year of marraige before and adoption is possible. Then ask the dad on the b/c because he is the legal father if he will allow the adoption. If he will get a lawyer to draw up the papers and the judge will sign off on them. But if the legal dad won't allow the adoption then and you think there is a good chance that he is not the father then you will have to go to court to request a DNA test. You really need to get a lawyer anyway because it can get very involved and messy and lawyers just clean things up a bit. So cross your fingers that the legal dad will allow the adoption after you have meet the states relationship requirement for adoption.

Right and as long as any one of three could be the father, I think I'd get DNA testing now before this gets any worse.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 6, 2008, 08:01 AM

I guess from a legal standpoint the one who is listed on the birth certificate can sign his rights away to allow for the adoption, *** of course he should not be on the birth certificate if you were not sure,

Now to do it 100 percent correct, you get DNA tests find out who the real father is, and have the birth certificate corrected if it needs to be, and then have the correct legal bio father sign his rights over.

But since there is a legal father, he would be able to sign his rights over, but,, and a big but, if one of the other men is really the father, they could come in latter and claim his rights if he is the real father

JudyKayTee · Sep 6, 2008, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I guess from a legal standpoint the one who is listed on the birth certificate can sign his rights away to allow for the adoption, *** of course he should not be on the birth certificate if you were not sure,

Now to do it 100 percent correct, you get DNA tests find out who the real father is, and have the birth certificate corrected if it needs to be, and then have the correct legal bio father sign his rights over.

But since there is a legal father, he would be able to sign his rights over, but,,, and a big but, if one of the other men is really the father, they could come in latter and claim his rights if he is the real father

- And because the mother has doubts, has expressed doubts about the identity of the father, the real father could overturn the adoption for fraud.

froggy7 · Sep 6, 2008, 08:55 AM

And, if the dad on the birth certificate is the real father, I'd get a child support order against him now, in order to have some leverage in case he decides he doesn't want to allow the adoption. Since he signed the birth certificate and affidavit, you can probably be granted arrears in the support order. Finding out that he will have to pay money may be the edge you need to convince him that allowing the adoption is for the best.