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quinny252 · Sep 3, 2008, 12:48 AM

My problem is with my sister, for some reason she screams at me in front of her friends and treat me worst than anybody I know(even some people who I don't see eye to eye with). I truly don't understand what her problem is, I always thought blood was thicker than water but in her case it's not! Why do you guys think she treats me so mean;she also be talking about beating me up and belittes me all the time I know I haven't done anything to her to be treated like a dog, it hurts me because I don't know what's up. I've tried talking to her about it but she only treats me worst do you think deep down I just don't know my sister like I thought I did or what?

ChihuahuaMomma · Sep 3, 2008, 12:52 AM

How old are the two of you?

quinny252 · Sep 3, 2008, 01:02 AM

We are old enough to know better.I'm 25 she's 21.

ChihuahuaMomma · Sep 3, 2008, 01:23 AM

She's still younger, and although an adult could still be going through a jealousy stage.

mimi03 · Sep 3, 2008, 08:09 AM

Has this behavior just started or has it always been a little rocky?

jjwoodhull · Sep 3, 2008, 08:13 AM

Do you live together?

quinny252 · Sep 3, 2008, 10:46 AM

It's been happening for a while(pretty much every time I see her)and yes we do live together. What's up with her?

SweetDee · Sep 4, 2008, 07:10 AM

Maybe she's going through something right now. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about what's upsetting her now, but that could change in the future.

Right now keep your distance. You don't have to deal w/ her if she's dissing you like she is. She has no right to be so mean with you. The more you hang around her the more opportunity you give her to be rude and disrespectful.

Tell her to stop it. Don't ask her what's wrong right now. She clearly is having some sort of upset...

Say, "Listen you don't have the right to talk to me like that or treat me like a dog. If you have nothing nice to say to me then say nothing at all! I do want to know what is bothering you, but right now I can't tolerate your disrespect. When you start acting more mature and less abusive, I'd be happy to sit down with you and talk about our relationship". Then walk away.

Keep your distance like you would a friend who was treating you badly. Anyone who's treats others with disrespect is going through some personal issues and usually it has nothing to do w/ you... Just hang to the side for a while. She'll come around. It has to be on her own time. Be patient...

fjsmith81 · Sep 4, 2008, 07:23 AM

My sister and I had the same problem not too long ago. I lived in Florida and she lived in Chicago. When I would come up to visit I would stay with her, but she was horrible to me. It seemed like her friends were more important than I was. After some time we got older, and a lot of her friendships started ending, and before she knew it I was the only one standing there through thick and thin.
I don't know if the reason was that when I was younger I used to treat her like that or if it was that at that time she had just turned 21 and started experimenting with drugs.
Whatever the reason is, I know that as people get older they start to appreciate their family more. And you say that 21 and 25 is old enough to know better, but the maturity level from 21 to 25 is unbalanced. Maybe some time apart would be beneficial for the two of you, but just because she turns her back on you now, don't retaliate in the future.

Good Luck

sanobia89 · Sep 5, 2008, 11:32 AM

Well, my sister used to treat me the sme way, and we used to fight [often]
Just give her some time because that's what I did with my sister I still don't trust her
As I should, but it took her moving out to realize that I'm going to be here for her no matter what she put me through I'm always going to be there its {tough love and also you 2 are sisters, she wants her space.] she will one day realize that you're her sister not an enemy just keep on loving and care for her

SweetDee · Sep 7, 2008, 05:41 AM

I agree w/ sanobia and fjsmith81 about keeping your distance right now...

Most sibling relationships that are troubled and complicated become easiest when the maturity level comes into play... in your older years. By the time you all are in your 40's this will be distant memory.

Set some bounderies... (politely, that adds class on your end.. ), and make sure they are respected. If she can't "fall in line"... walk away. There is nothing that speaks louder than a person who doesn't invest or participate w/ conflict or drama. It says, "I'm out, I'm not doing this, I have better things to do".

dontknownuthin · Sep 8, 2008, 04:17 PM

A very powerful approach is to simply say in front of God and everyone next time she treat you badly in front of others, "We are sisters and are adults. I love you, but I won't tolerate you treating me like that now or in the future. When you are ready to treat me like your sister, instead of like trash, let me know and we can hang out again". Then, go home. Don't get on the phone with the rest of the family or your friends - keep it between the two of you.