[babz888]

Ok well here's the question..
Im recently back from a holiday in which I met this great guy, he's funny, sweet caring blah blah blah
He was the entertainer at the camp site I was staying in and he put a lot into meeting me , (if his manager/boss/whatever finds out he could be fired)

We both liked each other very much and discussed having a long distance relationship (he's in Scotland and I am currently in ireland for the time being) he agreed with me..

So I got home on the 17th August there, he's pland on coming over on Monday 8th sept to c me.. and I was going back to c him on the 27th October..

now it gets complicated...

When I was at the holiday resort I was there with my crazy bubbly funny Aunt and Mom (nuts the pair of them) and while we were over 1 night B4 I met the funny sweet caring guy , we were taking the mickey out of 3 security guards (pulled them up to dance for a bit of banter).. all over the age of 40.. so on the last night when I was going down to see funny sweet caring guy, 1 of the old security guards followed me outside (he new there was summit going on btween me and funny sweet caring guy)

when he was outside with me he z he had run out of credit on his fone and needed to text his daughter, little did I no he was actually texting his on mobile to get my number..

So now am home I get messages from this security guard.. but he is just being friendly.. so I reply being JUST FRIENDLY back ( yano the usual, 'hey what u up to? Resort still busy' )etc..

So I was just about to book the hotel when I got a message from funny sweet caring guy asking me what's going on between me and security guard,

I... being honest z.. nothing..
funny sweet caring guy didn't believe me.. saying his friend had told him that I was 'with' (sex) this security guard.. when I clearly wasn't...

So I told him the truth and then after a full day of txting and calling each other he z he believed me..

so I ask 'whats the deal with us then?'

and he replys 'wot u want to do? U live in ireland I live in scot?'

So I replay being honest again saying. ' it's quite obvious what I want, clearly I like u but a relationship isn't 1 sided.. so its up to u.. '

and he replys 'it's up 2u, if u want to fling, fun or more tel me an let me know !x'

So now I'm totally confused.. I don't want to scare him away.. but when we discussed things on the beach we were in for a full time relationship.. like no cheating and cretainly not just a FLING!

was deeply hurt because id never felt this way about a guy be4 and if anyone believes in love at 1st sight, that's what I'd say it was..

Soooo now I sooooooooooooooooo totally need A lot of advice on what to doo.. like everything, give me ideas on what I could say to him, what I should do?

thankx a lot xxx:o

[happy_jester]

And he replys 'wot u wana do? u live in ireland i live in scot?'

"babz888" what this guy said to you,really sums up the whole thing for me!!

"Ireland/Scotland"? No not really,you already know,in your heart of hearts,
That as this relationship is soooo long distance,it really WON'T work :(

[chuff]

This is not a dig at you but you seem like you easily fall for what guys tell you. Any guy that meets you on vacation (or holiday as my European friends call it) and tells immediately tells you that he wants a long distance relationship is a guy looking to get some action. Furthermore, sending the manager to meet you is the oldest trick in the book for performers. It saves them the trouble of getting turned down or be accused of something well at the same time letting it be known they are interested.

This is why you take things slow, and when on holiday (<;) ) you should be enjoying that and not looking for a long term relationship. Long term relationships develop over long terms and they can not be manufactured over a short time and from a distance.

[JBeaucaire]

Love at first sight is pretty much what happens with everyone, or close to it. Stop thinking you have anything control over whom you like and whom you don't, it just happens on its own, all by itself, and you just get to experience it. OK?

Secondly, A TIP OF THE DAY: When dating or interacting with a new(er) guy, teach them EARLY you won't spend much/any time defending yourself to them. And also point out you will have NO TOLERANCE for having to deal with 3rd party info.

HIM: "What's the deal with you and security guard guy?"
YOU: "Hehe, everyone likes me, what am I to do? Good thing I like you right now, be sre to not mess that up with weirdness and jealousy, that would be an unfortunate choice for you to make."

HIM: "I heard you had sex with him."
YOU: "I heard you wanted to give me a million dollars because I'm so awesome, that's true right?"
HIM: "No, and don't make fun of me."
YOU: "I'm making fun of what people say, and I have no time for it, you really want to waste this conversation on things I have no interest in at all?"

Lastly, long distance relationships are nothing BUT people defending themselves. So much nicer to just flirt and court and be nice to each other long distance while constantly reminding each other you are free and single adults in different countries with the right to date / court / marry anyone you want that is close and of interest. This is at least HONEST about the truth.

If one of you makes the move geographically, you can consider exclusivity THEN, because then it shows actual sacrificial interest. Right now neither one of you have that, so keep it honest.

[babz888]

Thank you, your really honest but truthful :)

[babz888]

meant to say harsh but truthful lol :) ^

thankx for the advice

x

[JBeaucaire]

meant to say harsh but truthful lol :) ^

thankx for the advice

x

My pleasure. I know I'm blunt, but I hope the sincere desire I have for you to be the winner when this is all behind you comes through clearly. It's my only goal.